Some quarters believe that respect is a thing of the past, and would argue that social media is partly to blame. Entitlement, rudeness, conflict and controversy are everywhere, and keyboard warriors aren’t afraid to have a go at a complete stranger.
Caitriona King, a psychoanalytical psychotherapist based in Ireland, says there's an impression that respect is declining and has been over the last few decades. But that may not actually be the case. She argues that it could rather be that respect has evolved to mean something different to what it once did.
King notes that many Generation X (Gen X) folk, or those born between 1965 and 1980, were raised in households where respect was hierarchical. Some were even told that children should be seen and not heard... and that you will do so because I said so. There was no debating, no arguing. No questions asked and none answered.
"They were taught to: respect elders and authority figures automatically; unquestionally follow rules at school, at home and in institutions; avoid 'answering back' and value manners, punctuality and formality," the expert explains.
For many, this ‘traditional’ or strict upbringing influenced how they chose to raise their own children. Some maintained the strict approach, where obedience and discipline are considered the pillars of respect. Others didn't. But it's also important to note that by the time Gen Xers started becoming adults, in the 80s and 90s, society as a whole was changing.
"The rise of individualism challenged the idea that respect was earned solely by age or position," explains King. "Rock and pop culture icons questioned authority and Gen X was heavily influenced by this cultural shift. The workplace began to embrace more casual communication styles, reducing formality and creating a less rigid sense of hierarchy."
"When it comes to respect, Gen X has both inherited older forms of deference and adapted to newer, more egalitarian approaches," King says, adding that many are parents of Gen Z and late Millennials while holding leadership positions in business, education and politics.
"They tend to teach and expect respect in more balanced ways, often emphasizing listening to children and encouraging open dialogue; respecting differences in identity, belief and lifestyle as well as expecting mutual respect in personal and professional relationships," the expert notes.
But while they may take a more gentle approach to parenting, it's not uncommon to hear Gen Xers complaining about the lack of basic respect in younger generations, especially in the workplace.
King says that it's important to remember that what one generation deems 'respectful,' might differ from another generation. The definition of respect has changed, or evolved, she believes. And respect is now considered more reciprocal and less hierarchical.
"It is less about obedience to authority and more about mutual dignity—valuing others regardless of status," explains the expert.
Deborah Norville, the author of The Power of Respect, agrees.
"Discover what someone else calls respect. That is the key to the Power of Respect," she writes, explaining that the definition of respect is different for everyone.
Norville goes on to say that the word itself comes from the Latin respectus, which means “regard.” And while the dictionary defines respect as “To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem,” she has come up with her own definition after exploring and researching the topic.
