Walfish reveals that learning that your ex has a new love can help speed up your healing process. "The depth of pain of the loss of love is usually felt at this point, and recovery is quicker because time has passed during the fantasy/hope phase," says the expert, adding that their new relationship forces you to move on with your life.
"And, painful as it feels, it is really a golden gift in disguise," Walfish adds. "Don't turn away that gift by sending a text to prolong the hurt."
#22
#23
And finally, regardless of whether your ex has moved on or not, it's never a good idea to send a drunk text at 2am. Or anytime, for that matter.
"When you’re drinking, vulnerable, or unable to be intentional and clear about why it is happening, reaching out to an ex tends to restart the grief process, so it’s important to make the contact count," says McKinney.
So what should you do if you find yourself desperate to text your ex against your better judgement? Keep scrolling to find out.
#25
#26
#27
Adamo has devised a 7-step plan to prevent you from making contact with a toxic ex. The first, she says, is to put your phone in another room. "Physical distance creates mental space," explains the relationship expert. Next, text a friend instead. Tell them you want to text your ex and ask them to help stop you.
The third step is to call someone because hearing a voice helps interrupt the spiral. "Take a cold shower," adds Adamo. "I’m serious. It resets your nervous system." She also suggests moving your body. "Go for a walk, do 20 pushups, dance around your room. Movement processes emotion," she says.
Then, read your journal and remind yourself why you’re doing no contact. Finally, set a 20-minute timer. "Urges peak and pass," explains Adamo. "If you can resist for 20 minutes, the intensity will decrease."
Obviously, we don't always have the time to do all those things. But if you can manage at least one, you're a step closer to not opening up a can of worms.
#28
#29
#30
#32
#33
#34
#35
#36
#37
#38
#39
#40
