No matter how much you love your spouse, you might never love their parents. Plenty of people have complicated relationships with their mother and father, so it can be even harder to get along with parents who aren't your own. Maybe they complain about not being grandparents yet, or perhaps they make snarky comments about your apple pie on Thanksgiving.
Unfortunately, having issues with an in-law is par for the course in many marriages. And if you want to hear some stories that will make you feel validated for despising your partner's mom, this list will make it clear that you're not alone. We've gathered some of the absolute worst stories about mothers-in-law from hell that have been shared on r/JustNoMIL this month. Enjoy reading through them all, and be sure to upvote the ones that actually make you grateful for your in-laws!
#1 MIL Wants To Go On Our Honeymoon With Us
I agreed to go with my husband and his mother out for a late Mother's day dinner. I am usually no contact and he is low contact for a variety of reasons. She is deeply emotional enmeshed with him and truly acts like a bitter ex-girlfriend around me, especially after being kicked out of the house and forced to actually be an adult and not mooch off her son.
Anyway, DH and I got married recently but won't be going on the honeymoon for quite a few months. Please tell me how this woman had the audacity to ask to come with us on our honeymoon, using one of his aunts as an example (said aunt went on honeymoon with her husband's family, but the WHOLE family not just the MIL)? Literally mid-dinner at an extremely expensive restaurant acting like it was a totally normal thing to ask.
Thankfully husband shot it down immediately but I don't think this is the first time she's asked, as his response was along the lines of "I already told you that you can't go on our HONEYMOON with us". I am glad that he stands up for me and sees the toxicity of his relationship with her much more than he did before, but good lord, what sort of mother asks to join her son on his honeymoon? I know she misses all the trips he used to take her on (he was absolutely her emotional husband until I came around, I could write a novel on how inappropriate their relationship was), but at some point you have to move on and let your fully grown adult son have his own life, right? Right?!?!
No advice needed, DH has a nice shiny spine and I generally have zero contact with her as she basically hates my existence and refuses to acknowledge me (won't even say my name right after 4 years) so I leave all interaction to husband, and I hold iron boundaries anyway. It was just so jarring and genuinely blew me away. This is exactly why she wasn't invited to the wedding lol.
Any other MILs out there that want to sit in the wife seat indefinitely?
Anyway, DH and I got married recently but won't be going on the honeymoon for quite a few months. Please tell me how this woman had the audacity to ask to come with us on our honeymoon, using one of his aunts as an example (said aunt went on honeymoon with her husband's family, but the WHOLE family not just the MIL)? Literally mid-dinner at an extremely expensive restaurant acting like it was a totally normal thing to ask.
Thankfully husband shot it down immediately but I don't think this is the first time she's asked, as his response was along the lines of "I already told you that you can't go on our HONEYMOON with us". I am glad that he stands up for me and sees the toxicity of his relationship with her much more than he did before, but good lord, what sort of mother asks to join her son on his honeymoon? I know she misses all the trips he used to take her on (he was absolutely her emotional husband until I came around, I could write a novel on how inappropriate their relationship was), but at some point you have to move on and let your fully grown adult son have his own life, right? Right?!?!
No advice needed, DH has a nice shiny spine and I generally have zero contact with her as she basically hates my existence and refuses to acknowledge me (won't even say my name right after 4 years) so I leave all interaction to husband, and I hold iron boundaries anyway. It was just so jarring and genuinely blew me away. This is exactly why she wasn't invited to the wedding lol.
Any other MILs out there that want to sit in the wife seat indefinitely?
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31points
#2 Why Is Common Sense Lacking? Lo Is Not A Birthday Present
We’ve been mostly no contact with my in-laws since December, aside from one supervised visit at a public park before our son’s ileostomy reversal surgery that happened the 1st of April. It went well, and we’re trying to work toward occasional (once a month or so) supervised visits while still keeping our boundaries firm.
Our one and ONLY request has been that visits happen at our home or nearby (within 5-10 minutes) because our son physically cannot travel right now. LO has painful bowel movements every few minutes, needs constant changes, and sitting still too long while awake can cause a bowel obstruction that sends us straight to the ER. (His medical team also told us no travel for a minimum of six months)
Despite knowing all of this, my in-laws keep asking us to travel to them and still haven’t come to us to see him in the nearly two months since surgery. I have offered multiple times but MIL keeps making excuses and insists that no other grandparents have to work so hard to see their grandchildren. Like wth?? It's a 45 minute drive for you but it would turn into a 2 hour drive for us!
Yesterday was MIL’s birthday dinner at a restaurant near them at 7:30pm. I originally declined because there was no way we could bring our son! he’s recovering from surgery, has nonstop painful bowel movements, and goes to bed at 8. DH clarified it would just be us, so we went while my mother took care of LO and put him to bed.
When we arrived there was an empty high chair at the foot of out table and a distraught MIL. Despite DH already letting her know he would be asleep and physically unable to come, she thought we’d “surprise” her with him as a birthday gift??
I genuinely don’t understand the thought process. If we had brought him, he would’ve been miserable the entire time while we stayed in the bathroom changing him. Plus even short car rides risk a bowel obstruction for him!!!
They’ve seen firsthand on FaceTime how severe it is! In a 20 minute call, he cried the entire time and needed nine diaper changes!!. How can they witness that and still ask to bring him out???
At this point, I don’t think they’ll ever come to us to see him, so NC with LO is probably permanent. I’m not risking his health and I simply don't care if they see him or not. We offered a solution and all we're met with is dumb ideas and excuses.
Our one and ONLY request has been that visits happen at our home or nearby (within 5-10 minutes) because our son physically cannot travel right now. LO has painful bowel movements every few minutes, needs constant changes, and sitting still too long while awake can cause a bowel obstruction that sends us straight to the ER. (His medical team also told us no travel for a minimum of six months)
Despite knowing all of this, my in-laws keep asking us to travel to them and still haven’t come to us to see him in the nearly two months since surgery. I have offered multiple times but MIL keeps making excuses and insists that no other grandparents have to work so hard to see their grandchildren. Like wth?? It's a 45 minute drive for you but it would turn into a 2 hour drive for us!
Yesterday was MIL’s birthday dinner at a restaurant near them at 7:30pm. I originally declined because there was no way we could bring our son! he’s recovering from surgery, has nonstop painful bowel movements, and goes to bed at 8. DH clarified it would just be us, so we went while my mother took care of LO and put him to bed.
When we arrived there was an empty high chair at the foot of out table and a distraught MIL. Despite DH already letting her know he would be asleep and physically unable to come, she thought we’d “surprise” her with him as a birthday gift??
I genuinely don’t understand the thought process. If we had brought him, he would’ve been miserable the entire time while we stayed in the bathroom changing him. Plus even short car rides risk a bowel obstruction for him!!!
They’ve seen firsthand on FaceTime how severe it is! In a 20 minute call, he cried the entire time and needed nine diaper changes!!. How can they witness that and still ask to bring him out???
At this point, I don’t think they’ll ever come to us to see him, so NC with LO is probably permanent. I’m not risking his health and I simply don't care if they see him or not. We offered a solution and all we're met with is dumb ideas and excuses.
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30points
#3 MIL Got Upset With The $80 Flowers I Organised For Mother's Day
None of her 4 sons had organised a mother's day gift for her so I decided to organise a bunch of flowers and a card and asked everyone to chip in.
We planned to visit later in the day at 3pm to line up with everyone else's schedules. When we got there, none of the other family members were there. Then she was upset about the gift, said it was thoughtless and cheap and expected more than $80 bunch of flowers and complained she didn't receive them first thing in the morning. She then pointed her finger at me and said that as a daughter I should have known better. She kept harassing me so my husband told me to get my things and said we're leaving. We stayed for 5 minutes.
This was my first mother's day experience as her daughter in law and that was the last mother's day gift she ever got from me.
Fyi, this was the exact same present I organised for my own mum from myself and my siblings, and my mum was very happy with her gift.
We planned to visit later in the day at 3pm to line up with everyone else's schedules. When we got there, none of the other family members were there. Then she was upset about the gift, said it was thoughtless and cheap and expected more than $80 bunch of flowers and complained she didn't receive them first thing in the morning. She then pointed her finger at me and said that as a daughter I should have known better. She kept harassing me so my husband told me to get my things and said we're leaving. We stayed for 5 minutes.
This was my first mother's day experience as her daughter in law and that was the last mother's day gift she ever got from me.
Fyi, this was the exact same present I organised for my own mum from myself and my siblings, and my mum was very happy with her gift.
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29points
#4 My MIL Forced A Ridiculous "Every Other Week" Living Arrangement On Me During College, So My BF And I Moved Out
Hi everyone. This happened a while ago, but I still can’t get over it and just need to get it out of my system.
Some context: my boyfriend and I were going to college in a big city far away from our hometowns, so naturally, we had to find apartments in the area.
At first, we lived separately because we hadn't been together for very long. However, we eventually decided to move in together because we both had awful roommates. I was already planning to leave my flat, and since my boyfriend was living in an apartment owned by his family, he had the option to ask his current roommates to move out.
At first, my MIL agreed to this setup. She even told me I didn’t have to pay rent, which felt very nice, unexpected, and honestly, not like her at all. The only “catch” was that we had to share the apartment with my boyfriend’s sister, who was starting college that same year. I didn’t mind that because she was nice to me until then and I thought I would finally feel a bit more included.
Right before the semester started, my MIL suddenly changed the rules. Out of nowhere, she announced that I could actually only live there every other week. Which made absolutely zero sense. I had classes every single week. Was I supposed to magically find another apartment for the remaining weeks?? My boyfriend tried to reason with her and told her how ridiculous she was being, but she just wouldn't budge.
I desperately tried to find another apartment last minute, but it was too late. The housing market here is brutal and the prices are astronomical. Because of this ridiculous arrangement, I ended up missing half of my classes that semester.
The whole living situation was a nightmare. The sister kept picking fights and would constantly yell at me whenever my boyfriend wasn't around, on top of spreading lies about me. After a couple of months of this, my MIL dropped another demand and told me I had to move out completely - right in the middle of the academic year, when finding a new place was completely impossible.
Thankfully, my boyfriend was absolutely furious with her. He refused to let her treat me this way, so he packed his bags and moved out with me. We ended up living at my parents' house for the rest of that year. Because of the distance, we had to skip all of our classes and only drove to the city for exams. It was exhausting, but by the next school year, we managed to find our own apartment in time.
I’m still so angry about this, I can’t comprehend that she actually agreed with me living there just to later mess with me like this. But I’m incredibly grateful that my boyfriend had my back through it all.
Some context: my boyfriend and I were going to college in a big city far away from our hometowns, so naturally, we had to find apartments in the area.
At first, we lived separately because we hadn't been together for very long. However, we eventually decided to move in together because we both had awful roommates. I was already planning to leave my flat, and since my boyfriend was living in an apartment owned by his family, he had the option to ask his current roommates to move out.
At first, my MIL agreed to this setup. She even told me I didn’t have to pay rent, which felt very nice, unexpected, and honestly, not like her at all. The only “catch” was that we had to share the apartment with my boyfriend’s sister, who was starting college that same year. I didn’t mind that because she was nice to me until then and I thought I would finally feel a bit more included.
Right before the semester started, my MIL suddenly changed the rules. Out of nowhere, she announced that I could actually only live there every other week. Which made absolutely zero sense. I had classes every single week. Was I supposed to magically find another apartment for the remaining weeks?? My boyfriend tried to reason with her and told her how ridiculous she was being, but she just wouldn't budge.
I desperately tried to find another apartment last minute, but it was too late. The housing market here is brutal and the prices are astronomical. Because of this ridiculous arrangement, I ended up missing half of my classes that semester.
The whole living situation was a nightmare. The sister kept picking fights and would constantly yell at me whenever my boyfriend wasn't around, on top of spreading lies about me. After a couple of months of this, my MIL dropped another demand and told me I had to move out completely - right in the middle of the academic year, when finding a new place was completely impossible.
Thankfully, my boyfriend was absolutely furious with her. He refused to let her treat me this way, so he packed his bags and moved out with me. We ended up living at my parents' house for the rest of that year. Because of the distance, we had to skip all of our classes and only drove to the city for exams. It was exhausting, but by the next school year, we managed to find our own apartment in time.
I’m still so angry about this, I can’t comprehend that she actually agreed with me living there just to later mess with me like this. But I’m incredibly grateful that my boyfriend had my back through it all.
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29points
#5 What If I Told My MIL She Can Stay At A Hotel If Our Guest Room AC Isn't Expensive Enough For Her?
Since we got married, my MIL has visited us every year. This year we bought a new house and she came to visit us this week. We’re still pretty broke after the closing costs and everything, but I didn't want her to be hot, so I bought a window AC for the guest room. I just grabbed a Della unit off Amazon because it seemed good and was in my budget. I even tested it out myself for a few nights, and it works totally fine.
She’s retired and has this massive ego about only using premium things. Last night at the table, she asked me if I bought it at a liquidation store because she’s never heard of it. This morning she told my husband she’s worried the "cheap components" are going to catch fire or something ridiculous.
She’s always been like this. When we got engaged, she told my husband I was "a nice girl from a simple background" (translation: I’m poor in her eyes). She won't let it go. We haven’t asked her for a dime for this house, and now she’s acting like we’re forcing her to live in a shack.
My husband stayed silent and told me later I should just buy a fancy sticker to put over the brand name so she’ll shut up. I was so mad and almost threw the remote at him.
Am I crazy or is she just being a total snob? I’m so close to just taking it out of her room and seeing how she likes 90 with a floor fan.
She’s retired and has this massive ego about only using premium things. Last night at the table, she asked me if I bought it at a liquidation store because she’s never heard of it. This morning she told my husband she’s worried the "cheap components" are going to catch fire or something ridiculous.
She’s always been like this. When we got engaged, she told my husband I was "a nice girl from a simple background" (translation: I’m poor in her eyes). She won't let it go. We haven’t asked her for a dime for this house, and now she’s acting like we’re forcing her to live in a shack.
My husband stayed silent and told me later I should just buy a fancy sticker to put over the brand name so she’ll shut up. I was so mad and almost threw the remote at him.
Am I crazy or is she just being a total snob? I’m so close to just taking it out of her room and seeing how she likes 90 with a floor fan.
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28points
#6 MIL Left Birthday Party Early
I posted last week about my MIL not getting my kid a specific present for their birthday, one she promised she’d get. Which resulted in DH and I buy ing the present, and it being delivered a couple days after their party. Well, the party went pretty good in my opinion, and MIL even left early because she was “ganged up on.”
Everyone was having a good time. My oldest kid started acting out a little, so my dad gently corrected her behavior. MIL made a comment about how I don’t want other people correcting our kids behavior. I corrected her and said “I don’t allow her to “correct” our kids behavior because her idea of correcting it is spanking, and we don’t do that. My parents are allowed to help correct the problem, because they respect the fact that we don’t spank our kids.” You could tell MIL was put out about the whole situation. She then made another comment about how, maybe she’d know how to better discipline the kids without spanking if we brought them over to her house more. And that’s when everything went a little sideways.
My husband told her, once again, that while our youngest is still breastfeeding, that they would need to come to our house if they want to see the kids. And even once our youngest was no longer breastfeeding, they would need to baby proof their house. MIL said “you take the kids to her parents, what’s the difference.” And thats when other people got involved. My mom heard the comment from MIL, and told my MIL “they come over to our house because we have a private and comfortable space to breastfeed, our home is baby proofed, and if she wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding at our house, we wouldn’t make a big deal about it.” My friend chimed in and said “it’s their 3rd kid, you’d think you’d understand why they don’t allow the kids over to your house by now.” And to finish it all off, I said “we’ve told you the options multiple times, you can come over to our house to see your grandkids, we can meet at a restaurant for dinner, or your son can visit you at your house for and hour or 2. You religiously pick option #3, that’s not my problem.”
MIL huffed and started packing up her and FIL’s belongings. FIL hugged everyone and said his goodbyes, MIL walked out without saying anything else.
Pretty good result in my book.
Everyone was having a good time. My oldest kid started acting out a little, so my dad gently corrected her behavior. MIL made a comment about how I don’t want other people correcting our kids behavior. I corrected her and said “I don’t allow her to “correct” our kids behavior because her idea of correcting it is spanking, and we don’t do that. My parents are allowed to help correct the problem, because they respect the fact that we don’t spank our kids.” You could tell MIL was put out about the whole situation. She then made another comment about how, maybe she’d know how to better discipline the kids without spanking if we brought them over to her house more. And that’s when everything went a little sideways.
My husband told her, once again, that while our youngest is still breastfeeding, that they would need to come to our house if they want to see the kids. And even once our youngest was no longer breastfeeding, they would need to baby proof their house. MIL said “you take the kids to her parents, what’s the difference.” And thats when other people got involved. My mom heard the comment from MIL, and told my MIL “they come over to our house because we have a private and comfortable space to breastfeed, our home is baby proofed, and if she wasn’t comfortable breastfeeding at our house, we wouldn’t make a big deal about it.” My friend chimed in and said “it’s their 3rd kid, you’d think you’d understand why they don’t allow the kids over to your house by now.” And to finish it all off, I said “we’ve told you the options multiple times, you can come over to our house to see your grandkids, we can meet at a restaurant for dinner, or your son can visit you at your house for and hour or 2. You religiously pick option #3, that’s not my problem.”
MIL huffed and started packing up her and FIL’s belongings. FIL hugged everyone and said his goodbyes, MIL walked out without saying anything else.
Pretty good result in my book.
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23points
#7 My MIL Is Sad She Didn’t Get To Spend Her First “Grandmothers Day” With “Her Baby”
Long story short, yesterday was my first Mother’s Day and I was very excited.
It never made sense to visit MIL. She lives and hour away and baby hates the car seat. I invited her to my mom’s, proposed meeting half way or her coming to my house. Nope. She wanted us to go to her house.
So of course baby was tired and decided to take a long nap (yay!) and it got late (5:15 pm) so husband went to his mother’s by himself.
I texted MIL to thank her for the gift she sent me and she said “I’m so sad I didn’t get to spend my first grandmother’s day with my baby”. I’m like what? Grandmothers day? You mean MY FIRST Mother’s Day? She didn’t even texted me to thank for my gift or congratulate me.
Today my mom told me that she texted MIL to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and MIL answered that she “had waited all day long but oh her baby never came”. Even my mom was pissed and said that she should’ve come visit us.
Ughhhh I can’t stand her.
It never made sense to visit MIL. She lives and hour away and baby hates the car seat. I invited her to my mom’s, proposed meeting half way or her coming to my house. Nope. She wanted us to go to her house.
So of course baby was tired and decided to take a long nap (yay!) and it got late (5:15 pm) so husband went to his mother’s by himself.
I texted MIL to thank her for the gift she sent me and she said “I’m so sad I didn’t get to spend my first grandmother’s day with my baby”. I’m like what? Grandmothers day? You mean MY FIRST Mother’s Day? She didn’t even texted me to thank for my gift or congratulate me.
Today my mom told me that she texted MIL to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and MIL answered that she “had waited all day long but oh her baby never came”. Even my mom was pissed and said that she should’ve come visit us.
Ughhhh I can’t stand her.
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21points
#8 MIL Wants To Be Included In Newborn Pictures
Due with my first baby in a matter of weeks.
Booked newborn photos with husband. We are both looking forward to capturing her while she is teeny tiny!
The photographer's package includes two adults and the baby, then there's a small additional charge for any siblings or dogs.
Her style of photos shows the couple's love for each other and their little one as much as it shows off the new baby. Im talking lots of hand holding, cuddling, forehead kisses, etc. Like an engagement shoot but add a baby lol
Nowhere on her website does the photographer list additional costs for additional adults; its pretty obvious this is not the done thing.
Husband told PIL we have this planned and they started the puppy dog eyes of how it would be "soooo nice to have professional photos with their first grandchild".
I explained to them that the session we have already paid 50% for includes 2 adults and cant be ammended now, but that it would be lovely to get group professional pics for baby's first Christmas and to hire a photographer for her baptism. Husband also offered to try his hand at taking newborn pics with his parents.
FIL said that all sounds great but...
MIL is now mumbling that she wants pro pictures sooner than that. Husbands pictures apparently not good enough.
important context: She complained about our wedding photographer taking "too many photos" of husband getting ready with his party and not enough of him and her, and not enough of her and her siblings. Everyone else said our wedding photos are gorgeous and that the photographer worked hard.
Im literally hitting my head against the wall here.
My own parents have both passed so its been hard navigating pregnancy without their advice etc
Booked newborn photos with husband. We are both looking forward to capturing her while she is teeny tiny!
The photographer's package includes two adults and the baby, then there's a small additional charge for any siblings or dogs.
Her style of photos shows the couple's love for each other and their little one as much as it shows off the new baby. Im talking lots of hand holding, cuddling, forehead kisses, etc. Like an engagement shoot but add a baby lol
Nowhere on her website does the photographer list additional costs for additional adults; its pretty obvious this is not the done thing.
Husband told PIL we have this planned and they started the puppy dog eyes of how it would be "soooo nice to have professional photos with their first grandchild".
I explained to them that the session we have already paid 50% for includes 2 adults and cant be ammended now, but that it would be lovely to get group professional pics for baby's first Christmas and to hire a photographer for her baptism. Husband also offered to try his hand at taking newborn pics with his parents.
FIL said that all sounds great but...
MIL is now mumbling that she wants pro pictures sooner than that. Husbands pictures apparently not good enough.
important context: She complained about our wedding photographer taking "too many photos" of husband getting ready with his party and not enough of him and her, and not enough of her and her siblings. Everyone else said our wedding photos are gorgeous and that the photographer worked hard.
Im literally hitting my head against the wall here.
My own parents have both passed so its been hard navigating pregnancy without their advice etc
20points
#9 My Future Mil Thinks It's Self-Centered Of Me To Wear White As The Bride—but Her Daughter Can Wear White As The Guest
Planning a wedding with my future in laws has been difficult, to say the least. I knew it was coming because my SO's SIL (so his brother's wife) warned me that I would not want to talk to any of my in laws by the day the wedding day rolled around. They have nitpicked every aspect of the wedding they are not paying for, and my MIL has bemoaned the fact that I think that I have a "monopoly on the color white" for all wedding-related events. She thinks it's gauche for brides-to-be to wear white to their engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette, or rehearsal dinner because any white beyond the day of the wedding is screaming "me, me, me" and is supposedly self-centered. (Says the woman who has already had not 2, not 3, but 4 makeup and hair trials for her son's wedding, despite having a trusted hair stylist, because she needs her look to be absolutely flawless.)
Well, last week my future SIL sent over a pic of her dress for our wedding, and it was white. White with (off-white) floral appliqués, floor-length, so the whole effect is very bridal. It's not even flattering. MIL thinks the dress is perfect. Honestly, I am tired, and they are free to humiliate themselves. No consequences for me, other than a little secondhand embarrassment.
Well, last week my future SIL sent over a pic of her dress for our wedding, and it was white. White with (off-white) floral appliqués, floor-length, so the whole effect is very bridal. It's not even flattering. MIL thinks the dress is perfect. Honestly, I am tired, and they are free to humiliate themselves. No consequences for me, other than a little secondhand embarrassment.
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20points
#10 MIL Just Lost Her Right To Receive Photos Of My Child
I literally posted today about how MIL kept posting photos after I told her to stop. And asking advice how people set the boundaries about grandparents posting.
My parents luckily don't have social media and FIL as well. So I basically had to have the talk with MIL AGAIN! (Father of LO is a jerk and a mama's boy and just says yes to everything his mother wants. That's why I'm not turning to him to talk to his mother. )
I told her firmly I will not tolerate her posting photos of my baby. She came back with the most terrible response. If she can't post photos of the baby then they'll be missing out on seeing the baby grow up.
I was like excuse me how is your math mathing? I didn't say I'm not sending you photos anymore. I'm asking you to use your brain and stop posting photos on your social media.
She then came up with this thing about if we still send her photos over WhatsApp the location can still be tracked so she doesn't understand why I don't want her to post photos if I keep sending them.
I send her 99.9% of the photos. I told her of she keeps giving me these answers and trying to cross my boundaries she'll never see a single photo of my baby again because her son DOESNT TAKE PHOTOS OF THE BABY or send her. He asked me to do it every time.
She came up with something else. Like how are all her family members going to see. And I said Sheila you're done (name not Sheila). You've just lost the privilege of photos to your grand child until you can tell me you understand my boundaries.
I even sent her videos on this. Of the content that's being made with these kinds photos and she still comes with the same responses .
So now I'm apparently very mean and cruel and I blocked her again. I'm so mad right now. Why is it that they don't understand our boundaries
My parents luckily don't have social media and FIL as well. So I basically had to have the talk with MIL AGAIN! (Father of LO is a jerk and a mama's boy and just says yes to everything his mother wants. That's why I'm not turning to him to talk to his mother. )
I told her firmly I will not tolerate her posting photos of my baby. She came back with the most terrible response. If she can't post photos of the baby then they'll be missing out on seeing the baby grow up.
I was like excuse me how is your math mathing? I didn't say I'm not sending you photos anymore. I'm asking you to use your brain and stop posting photos on your social media.
She then came up with this thing about if we still send her photos over WhatsApp the location can still be tracked so she doesn't understand why I don't want her to post photos if I keep sending them.
I send her 99.9% of the photos. I told her of she keeps giving me these answers and trying to cross my boundaries she'll never see a single photo of my baby again because her son DOESNT TAKE PHOTOS OF THE BABY or send her. He asked me to do it every time.
She came up with something else. Like how are all her family members going to see. And I said Sheila you're done (name not Sheila). You've just lost the privilege of photos to your grand child until you can tell me you understand my boundaries.
I even sent her videos on this. Of the content that's being made with these kinds photos and she still comes with the same responses .
So now I'm apparently very mean and cruel and I blocked her again. I'm so mad right now. Why is it that they don't understand our boundaries
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20points
#11 She Called Herself My Baby’s Mum
Whenever someone mentioned something similar in this sub I though it was sooo strange and that my MIL is bad but not THAT bad. Well, turns out she is.
She’s visiting us and meeting my baby (10 weeks) for the first time. She keeps referring to me as baby’s ‘food’: “ah you’re crying because your food is here”, “oh you just smelled your food”.
And then she was talking to SO and, pretending to be baby’s voice said “my mum just read to me a book… I mean, my grandma read to me a book”. I honestly don’t know how they can unintentionally mix up the words mum and grandma… it’s either intentional or just their subconscious making them say that.
She’s visiting us and meeting my baby (10 weeks) for the first time. She keeps referring to me as baby’s ‘food’: “ah you’re crying because your food is here”, “oh you just smelled your food”.
And then she was talking to SO and, pretending to be baby’s voice said “my mum just read to me a book… I mean, my grandma read to me a book”. I honestly don’t know how they can unintentionally mix up the words mum and grandma… it’s either intentional or just their subconscious making them say that.
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20points
#12 Mil Cuts Toddlers Bangs
MIL gave my 18mo daughter "impulsive" micro bangs while spending the night at her house.
I’m fuming and need to know if I’m overreacting or if this is as big of an issue as it feels. My MIL has only had my daughter for 3 nights total in her life. This last visit, she decided she didn’t like my daughter's hair "getting in her face." I packed hair ties and told her to use them. Instead, she came home and I found out my daughter has one inch long micro bangs, cut across her forehead (eyebrow to eyebrow). I posted a photo on my page of what it looks like.
She claimed it was an "impulse." She claimed my daughter "moved her head," which caused the "mistake." (But the cut is pretty straight, her bangs were past her nose, which I was trying to grow out so she didn’t have them anymore). She didn't tell me when it happened; she waited until she was dropping her off to mention it.
My husband is trying to play peacemaker, he told her "not to get in her head about it" behind my back and keeps defending her intentions. He even smirked when he brought our toddler back inside, calling it a nervous laugh. Idk what to think. I feel completely violated. She used scissors an inch from my toddlers eyes to make a parents choice I didn't ask for, then played the victim of it’s your daughters fault because she moved her head. Trust is at a zero. Has anyone else been through this? What should I say to my MIL and or my husband?
I’m fuming and need to know if I’m overreacting or if this is as big of an issue as it feels. My MIL has only had my daughter for 3 nights total in her life. This last visit, she decided she didn’t like my daughter's hair "getting in her face." I packed hair ties and told her to use them. Instead, she came home and I found out my daughter has one inch long micro bangs, cut across her forehead (eyebrow to eyebrow). I posted a photo on my page of what it looks like.
She claimed it was an "impulse." She claimed my daughter "moved her head," which caused the "mistake." (But the cut is pretty straight, her bangs were past her nose, which I was trying to grow out so she didn’t have them anymore). She didn't tell me when it happened; she waited until she was dropping her off to mention it.
My husband is trying to play peacemaker, he told her "not to get in her head about it" behind my back and keeps defending her intentions. He even smirked when he brought our toddler back inside, calling it a nervous laugh. Idk what to think. I feel completely violated. She used scissors an inch from my toddlers eyes to make a parents choice I didn't ask for, then played the victim of it’s your daughters fault because she moved her head. Trust is at a zero. Has anyone else been through this? What should I say to my MIL and or my husband?
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19points
#13 She Thinks Glass Is Magnetic And Had A Meltdown At Our Induction Stove
Alright I have very little brain rn so this will be short and I won't have all the details, sorry.
Got into a big fight with her over wanting an induction stove. Our old oven exploded (yeah literally went kaboom) and it was time for a new one. I said I'd love an induction stove this time around because it would be much safer especially with my little boy around. She lost it and said "WELL YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED" I said EXCUSE ME what do you mean by that?
"You're just scared there will be more fires! Fires are part of life and are normal and expected!" (context my wife had 3 major stove disasters. 1 was at an airbnb where she left the gas on, 1 was when she left it on at the old house, and most recently she put the blender on the stove and turned on the wrong burner).
I said that's called LEARNING from life experiences. It's SAFER. There is no problem with it being SAFER. It's FINE
Then she says "oh yeah I bet she just can't use it then! So you're getting it because you don't want her to use it!"
wat? She thinks induction stoves are touchscreen only and would NOT hear me saying otherwise.
I don't really remember how it ended up but I was pretty pissed. Fast forward a week and we have our new induction stove. Seems great, just installed and needing to test. Installer man says "we just need to verify the stove works so do you have any compatible dishes or anything yet?" We did not unfortunately, they were coming the next day. My MIL pipes up and says "glass should work!" No MIL, we have told you many times how induction works. It's essentially a frickin' magnet and glass is not magnetic.
Got into a big fight with her over wanting an induction stove. Our old oven exploded (yeah literally went kaboom) and it was time for a new one. I said I'd love an induction stove this time around because it would be much safer especially with my little boy around. She lost it and said "WELL YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED" I said EXCUSE ME what do you mean by that?
"You're just scared there will be more fires! Fires are part of life and are normal and expected!" (context my wife had 3 major stove disasters. 1 was at an airbnb where she left the gas on, 1 was when she left it on at the old house, and most recently she put the blender on the stove and turned on the wrong burner).
I said that's called LEARNING from life experiences. It's SAFER. There is no problem with it being SAFER. It's FINE
Then she says "oh yeah I bet she just can't use it then! So you're getting it because you don't want her to use it!"
wat? She thinks induction stoves are touchscreen only and would NOT hear me saying otherwise.
I don't really remember how it ended up but I was pretty pissed. Fast forward a week and we have our new induction stove. Seems great, just installed and needing to test. Installer man says "we just need to verify the stove works so do you have any compatible dishes or anything yet?" We did not unfortunately, they were coming the next day. My MIL pipes up and says "glass should work!" No MIL, we have told you many times how induction works. It's essentially a frickin' magnet and glass is not magnetic.
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18points
#14 Justnomil Called My Mom To Complain To Her That I Don’t Let Her See Her Grand Daughter LOL
My mom called me to tell me mil called her crying that I don’t let her see grand baby. My mom basically laid it on her and told her all the reasons why I went no contact (my mom asked my permission before she did this) I posted on here before about my justnomil. When my mom told her about the way she acted at the baby shower and didn’t help with anything she said I did help and my mom was like “no you didn’t” she had nothing to say.
Mom told her how she insulted me freshly pp saying “oh it’s easy for you to wake up with baby you don’t work” she said oh yea I said that but didn’t mean it that way. Saying how she says things but she doesn’t mean it. lol
Mom told her why would my daughter want to be around ppl that insult her all the time. She’s been through a lot and she finally has her baby and she wants to enjoy her.
The conversation ended, my mom told her there’s nothing I can do for you. My daughter and her husband are adults they make the decisions when it comes to their baby so talk to your son.
The reason she called my mom was because she thinks I’m the issue and her son is an innocent by stander with no say. When it was her son that wanted to go low/no contact because he said his mother won’t listen and always has to have the last word and won’t respect what he has to say.
This changes nothing on my end she’s still not seeing my daughter lol
Mom told her how she insulted me freshly pp saying “oh it’s easy for you to wake up with baby you don’t work” she said oh yea I said that but didn’t mean it that way. Saying how she says things but she doesn’t mean it. lol
Mom told her why would my daughter want to be around ppl that insult her all the time. She’s been through a lot and she finally has her baby and she wants to enjoy her.
The conversation ended, my mom told her there’s nothing I can do for you. My daughter and her husband are adults they make the decisions when it comes to their baby so talk to your son.
The reason she called my mom was because she thinks I’m the issue and her son is an innocent by stander with no say. When it was her son that wanted to go low/no contact because he said his mother won’t listen and always has to have the last word and won’t respect what he has to say.
This changes nothing on my end she’s still not seeing my daughter lol
17points
#15 NC MIL Showed Up Unannounced
It finally happened, my MIL who we’re no contact with showed up unannounced to our house tonight…
Context: A little over a month ago we cut off part of my husband’s immediate family, but the main person we cut off was his mom. This was because of their horrible reaction to us saying we wanted no hospital visitors and no visitors for a week after I gave birth. She alone said some incredibly hateful things to us, things that we won’t ever be able to forgive and things that were so heartbreaking to hear. Since then we have moved into a new house, and only one of his brothers (and his wife) know our address.
Tonight while my husband and I were putting our baby to sleep, my MIL showed up unannounced and uninvited to our home. We were insanely freaked out and didn’t let her in, but we were also super confused on how she had even found out where we lived. Turns out my BIL gave her our address, and didn’t even ask if it was okay to give our address to her or if it was okay for her to come by. We were furious, she was blowing up my husband’s phone demanding she come in and talk to us and see the baby.
She even went so far as to say “I can’t believe you’d treat your mom this poorly I hope your daughter NEVER does this to you guys”.
I feel so violated and uncomfortable, the fact that she thought it was acceptable to show up after being so nasty is beyond me. But I’m also shocked that my BIL thought it was acceptable to give out our address without asking permission or even giving a warning that she was trying to come over. My husband is beyond angry. They expect us to be over everything because “it’s your mom” and “it’s been a month so we should be over it now”.
Context: A little over a month ago we cut off part of my husband’s immediate family, but the main person we cut off was his mom. This was because of their horrible reaction to us saying we wanted no hospital visitors and no visitors for a week after I gave birth. She alone said some incredibly hateful things to us, things that we won’t ever be able to forgive and things that were so heartbreaking to hear. Since then we have moved into a new house, and only one of his brothers (and his wife) know our address.
Tonight while my husband and I were putting our baby to sleep, my MIL showed up unannounced and uninvited to our home. We were insanely freaked out and didn’t let her in, but we were also super confused on how she had even found out where we lived. Turns out my BIL gave her our address, and didn’t even ask if it was okay to give our address to her or if it was okay for her to come by. We were furious, she was blowing up my husband’s phone demanding she come in and talk to us and see the baby.
She even went so far as to say “I can’t believe you’d treat your mom this poorly I hope your daughter NEVER does this to you guys”.
I feel so violated and uncomfortable, the fact that she thought it was acceptable to show up after being so nasty is beyond me. But I’m also shocked that my BIL thought it was acceptable to give out our address without asking permission or even giving a warning that she was trying to come over. My husband is beyond angry. They expect us to be over everything because “it’s your mom” and “it’s been a month so we should be over it now”.
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16points
#16 Received My Performance Review Today
MIL is a self absorbed failed actress (literally) with baby rabies and has consistently tried to use my 11 month old to re-live her own experience of parenthood. FIL is spineless and refuses to call MIL on any of her s**t. Last week I called out their preoccupation/obsession with time spent with the baby and asked them to stop making passive aggressive comments to/around my child about how long it's been since she's seen them, whether she remembers them etc.
This morning MIL called me and gave me my performance review. She ranted for 10 minutes about how I've treated them and acted towards them in the past 11 months since giving birth. Brought up situations from early postpartum that I can't even recall (like my husband directing her on how to correctly hold the baby's head which she felt was condescending, and like us asking her to change a diaper but not telling her where the nappies are which she felt was intended to set her up to fail).
I'm currently nursing a heat stroked baby back to health and I haven't slept a full night in about 1000 years. The performance review was the straw. I ended the call by asking her to not contact us again. Considering sticking to my guns and finally going no contact, but it feels like a big decision, especially as baby's first birthday is coming up. But I can't imagine repairing a relationship with someone so intractable who clearly resents me and who will ambush me with a list of archived grievances. Feeling completely stuck.
This morning MIL called me and gave me my performance review. She ranted for 10 minutes about how I've treated them and acted towards them in the past 11 months since giving birth. Brought up situations from early postpartum that I can't even recall (like my husband directing her on how to correctly hold the baby's head which she felt was condescending, and like us asking her to change a diaper but not telling her where the nappies are which she felt was intended to set her up to fail).
I'm currently nursing a heat stroked baby back to health and I haven't slept a full night in about 1000 years. The performance review was the straw. I ended the call by asking her to not contact us again. Considering sticking to my guns and finally going no contact, but it feels like a big decision, especially as baby's first birthday is coming up. But I can't imagine repairing a relationship with someone so intractable who clearly resents me and who will ambush me with a list of archived grievances. Feeling completely stuck.
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15points
#17 I Guess MIL Got Her Karma
I never wanted to compete with anyone but there was one sided competition and she rushed her daughter’s wedding after we announced ours. She has done lots of crazy stuff like cut off people that talk to me and gave them the ultimatum or trying to set up my fiance with a woman!
I was excluded and disrespected so I decided to cut them off and build my own life. I also accepted that our weddings might overlap. MIL held approval so people won’t show up to my wedding so she can basically embarrass us and affect our attendance.
Now MIL called my fiance panicking and telling him that only 2 people RSVP for his sister’s wedding (destination wedding) and that he needs to not invite anyone who isn’t showing to her wedding. I laughed because she was telling people to not go to our wedding and now we have over 140 guests.
I guess this what happens when you wish others fail or put others down to be above. People notice insecurity and avoid desperate women.
Another interesting thing is the woman his mom wanted him to be with is a cousin and she RSVP for my wedding.. I also heard the mom cut her off because she isnt religious anymore. I really don’t care about this cousin but I wanted to make sure if there is anything hidden here.
I was excluded and disrespected so I decided to cut them off and build my own life. I also accepted that our weddings might overlap. MIL held approval so people won’t show up to my wedding so she can basically embarrass us and affect our attendance.
Now MIL called my fiance panicking and telling him that only 2 people RSVP for his sister’s wedding (destination wedding) and that he needs to not invite anyone who isn’t showing to her wedding. I laughed because she was telling people to not go to our wedding and now we have over 140 guests.
I guess this what happens when you wish others fail or put others down to be above. People notice insecurity and avoid desperate women.
Another interesting thing is the woman his mom wanted him to be with is a cousin and she RSVP for my wedding.. I also heard the mom cut her off because she isnt religious anymore. I really don’t care about this cousin but I wanted to make sure if there is anything hidden here.
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14points
#18 Mil Ate My Fancy Cheese
I knew when she went inside from the BBQ and was gone for like 20 minutes that she was somewhere in my home digging through something. Like.. that’s just her thing. I have caught her in random cabinets, drawers, opening closed doors upstairs, etc. She’s fully open about it and will ask you about things or compliment items found lol.
However, this incident made me laugh (later). She comes back out after being gone for 20+ minutes saying she put away the food (that was nice!!) but that she also helped herself to the “fancy cheese” in my fridge. Rapid fire asking me questions about what kind it was. Note: there were so many apps and we had just grilled and eaten dinner. But also girl, why were you in my damn cheese drawer!! It’s like a skinny middle drawer, not where she would have put food. Anyways, later it pissed me off she was digging in my cheese and bragging about it coming out?? I actually don’t even remember saying anything but my silence was loud. Like an awkward “okay???” Silence and shaking of head “idk” when she asked what kind of cheese it was. (Tbh I have a lot of cheese, later realized it was Manchego for anyone curious)
Anyways husband and I have laughed like 4 times this week about this. Husband is also aware and jokes about this behavior, corrects it kindly, and helps her with her struggles with hoarding, and even just cleaned her front room with her that’s been wall to ceiling covered for 6+ years. He really cares for her, she just lacks boundaries but sometimes is genuinely endearing and does provide a few laughs. Just remembered and felt like posting hehe
Edit: just feel like editing that I love these comments and sub! I’ve been reading posts in this sub that are sometimes actual horror stories. Truly mean spirited MILs and family members. Mine isn’t mean… just a lil dopey and annoying. Sending love and hope this gives a laugh!
However, this incident made me laugh (later). She comes back out after being gone for 20+ minutes saying she put away the food (that was nice!!) but that she also helped herself to the “fancy cheese” in my fridge. Rapid fire asking me questions about what kind it was. Note: there were so many apps and we had just grilled and eaten dinner. But also girl, why were you in my damn cheese drawer!! It’s like a skinny middle drawer, not where she would have put food. Anyways, later it pissed me off she was digging in my cheese and bragging about it coming out?? I actually don’t even remember saying anything but my silence was loud. Like an awkward “okay???” Silence and shaking of head “idk” when she asked what kind of cheese it was. (Tbh I have a lot of cheese, later realized it was Manchego for anyone curious)
Anyways husband and I have laughed like 4 times this week about this. Husband is also aware and jokes about this behavior, corrects it kindly, and helps her with her struggles with hoarding, and even just cleaned her front room with her that’s been wall to ceiling covered for 6+ years. He really cares for her, she just lacks boundaries but sometimes is genuinely endearing and does provide a few laughs. Just remembered and felt like posting hehe
Edit: just feel like editing that I love these comments and sub! I’ve been reading posts in this sub that are sometimes actual horror stories. Truly mean spirited MILs and family members. Mine isn’t mean… just a lil dopey and annoying. Sending love and hope this gives a laugh!
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12points