RelationshipsNOV 27, 2023

"AITA For 'Poisoning' Housemate Who Ate My Food Without My Permission And Ended Up In The ER?"

Sharing a home doesn’t entitle the residents to share everything that’s in there; especially without permission.

That’s why redditor u/Gloomy-Isopod-8132 was quite annoyed when someone kept taking his food without asking. But he wasn’t sure who it was until one of his roommates got sick and some of his food—which he wasn’t sure was suitable for eating—disappeared from the fridge. Scroll down to find the full story below.

Discussing certain rules and expectations in the very beginning can make living together way easier

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

Living under one roof often involves sharing, be it food, shampoo, or even clothes. But no matter what item it is, it’s important that both sides are okay with it, as taking someone’s things without asking could hardly be considered sharing.

That’s where communication plays a significant role. Whether it’s friends, relatives, or strangers that live together, talking things through can help set clear expectations and discuss certain boundaries, if any. Sometimes it might be best to even put pen to paper and write it all down.

"The agreement helps people set expectations for living together and identify what they are looking for in a roommate," the assistant director of contracts and occupancy management for the Housing and Dining Services at Kansas State University, Kathy Van Steenis, suggested.

She pointed out that it’s important to discuss any arrangements concerning sharing food and cooking; for instance, whether each of the residents cooks for themselves or they take turns in preparing meals for the household, and if snacks and such staples as flour, milk, or spices are shared or kept separately. In the former case, who buys them? And how are they compensated for them?

The residential specialist continued to add that there can also be situations where a roommate is fine with sharing… until they are no longer. That’s why it might be best to keep some items to oneself, especially when it comes to things other than just food. "It usually leads to less conflict if roommates keep their personal belongings separate," she suggested.

Living with friends might not be as easy as one thinks

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

A fellow member of the Kansas State University community, interim associate director of Housing and Dining Services Nick Lander, seconded the idea that a mutually agreed upon document is crucial to a satisfactory living experience, even if the residents were friends before moving in together.

"Even if the roommates have been friends for years, they probably haven't shared a small space together every day and every night," Lander pointed out. Statistics show that being great friends does not necessarily equal being great housemates.

According to a survey carried out by Apartment Guide, out of 47% of surveyed Americans who decided to share a home with a friend, only 32% were satisfied with how it played out. Be that as it may, living with a friend seems to be the most common and the most satisfying arrangement in regards to sharing a dwelling.

Based on 2017 data, close to 79 million US adults—roughly 32% of the entire adult population in the country—lived in a shared household. With so many people living under one roof with someone else, there ought to be others in a similar situation like the one the OP found himself in; and surveys seem to indicate that there are.

According to Survey Monkey, taking someone’s food without asking for permission first is the fourth most aggravating thing housemates do, annoying nearly one-fourth of those living with roommates. Quite a few netizens would likely be annoyed by it, too, as they didn’t seem to consider the OP a jerk in his situation, but criticized his roommates instead.