Some may assume I’d be able to make a reasonably good YouTube Channel. After all, I’ve been honored with being the Co-Executive Producer, writer and director of one of YouTube most successful and popular original series, “Mind Field”, starring Michael Stevens. Mind Field episodes get upwards of 20 million viewers each and we’ve been nominated for Emmy awards 3 years in a row. But my self made, ukulele tutorial channel, despite being posted every week for over 3 years, has garnered practically no viewers while receiving a constant flow of hateful comments from trolls. A stranger is even wishing me AIDS.
My first mistake was asking for an ukulele for my birthday. I was a bored, unemployed, middle aged guy looking for a hobby so my wife got me one.
I struggled for months trying to learn how to play from YouTube tutorials that all seemed to assume you knew how to play before they taught you. It was too much information, too fast for a guy like me to take in.
Eventually, I realized that I was not going to get any better. But still wanting to play the ukulele as a hobby, I decided the best way to give back, was to create my own ukulele tutorial channel aimed at people like me. The channel would teach the ukulele and ukulele tips, but very slowly so even non-musical people with 10 thumbs could follow along, one note at a time. I called it “Easy Simple Ukulele Lessons for the Pre-Beginner.”
Being shy, I decided to use my nickname, “Pismo”, and call it “Pismo Ukulele”.
I committed myself to this channel for 5 years. I would make 1 episode a week for a total of 260 episodes. I use the term “episode” instead of “lesson” because most of the episodes are
just useful or fun tips that may help your enjoyment of the ukulele. Episodes range from “Yoga-Lele” (a form of yoga while holding the ukulele) to Ukulele A.S.M.R.
I don’t do it for money. In fact, YouTube’s rules make it impossible to monetize your channel unless you have an insane number of subscribers and viewers. It really is a hobby and a personal commitment to keep posting “lessons” once a week for 5 years. I don’t try to be funny although many people think I am. In fact, I go out of my way to avoid jokes. I do realize however, that my channel is a little “off.” A filmmaker friend calls it “performance art”. I’m not so sure about the “art” part. It’s just a hobby. It’s not that easy to come up with a new ukulele tip every week when I don’t know what I’m doing.
I realized another benefit of doing my channel. After being out of work for months or even a year between shows, I got scared and anxious at the thought of making TV again. Of course, TV shouldn’t be scary but it can be intimidating, especially when the next youngest person on staff of the shows I work on is usually twenty years younger. They look at me as their dad, or even grandpa. They know more about technical aspects of making TV than I could ever learn. Making Pismo Ukulele at least keeps my toe in the pond.
I am on camera as the “Pismo” of Pismo Ukulele. This has been especially daunting for me because I am not an actor and I am incredibly camera shy. I can’t memorize lines so I basically improvise what I’m saying. The reason I am “Pismo” is that I don’t have to use my real name, I wear sunglasses to hide my identity, and I don’t have to work with someone else and worry that they show up for every episode. Compared to TV, making a YouTube channel is incredibly less stressful. I do it on my own time and don’t have to worry about network notes. I kind of compare it to making bad neighborhood theatre. It’s more fun for the people making it, than for those who watch it.
The views my channel get are practically non-existent in the world of youtube channels. Videos of babies eating breakfast get more views than mine do by a margin of about a million to 1. Even simple ukulele videos about people playing “Tiny Bubbles” get 100,000 views to my 1. On the other hand, find it insane that the few viewers and subscribers I have watch it at all, considering all the comments about how my channel is a waste of time. But it’s not about money. My channel makes zero cents. Some would say also that it makes zero sense.
Even though it is just a hobby for me, I have always been interested in how people would react to my channel so I started posted episodes on mainly music related Facebook groups and subreddits. The comments came fast and hard. Apparently my channel pissed off the small amount of possible subscribers who it is aimed at. When I taught about the percussion advantage of placing golf balls inside your ukulele, diehards turned on me with comments like “Shut this crap down now!” and “Watching this clown more than once was my worst mistake.” It became more interesting for me to save the mean comments than making the episodes.
Then I was banned from several Facebook and Reddit groups. How bad can you be to considered too dumbass for the subreddit “dumbasspeoplefacebook”?
Or banned from the subreddit, “Idiots”.
So far, I’ve been able to categorize most of the comments into 2 main groups. The first group
hates Pismo with comments like “Dude, f* off, no-one will say mahalo when you die.”
The second, much smaller group, plays along, not on ukulele, but by pretending to be their own character as a student just as dumb as Pismo.
The truth, is that I’m not trying to be funny. And it doesn’t have a point. Pismo Ukulele just a middle aged guy trying to fulfill a personal commitment to post a useless ukulele tutorial episode every week for 5 years. But people react with such anger as if they are forced to watch the videos week after week:
I think part of the reason people hate my “lessons” is because I leave out important information. My lesson on tuning your ukulele only points out where the tuning pegs are.
Although, a follow up lesson gives a good tip on how to practicing turning your running pegs with a wine cork remover.
I did a lesson on how to carve your own ukulele out of a solid block of wood. Maybe I shouldn’t have cut out the part where you actually carve.
My lesson on how to set down your ukulele (not on the strings) got more viewers than expected.
My lesson on how to play “Over The Rainbow” only included the first note. People hated me for that but I was not trying to overwhelm novice players.
I was told my episode on unboxing a pick came across as anti-climactic. But what did they expect?
Early on, some of the nastier comments hurt me:
“Hey guy, you do not know what the f*** you are talking about. It is halfwits like you that cause problems for people trying to learn. Shut this crap down now!” – Happy P.
“Jeez man tune that uke if you’re doing it in public.” – Happy P.
“Does anybody take this whack-job seriously?” – Audrey P.
“Are you Nuts? Philip C.
What utter bollocks” (again!)
“This bloke is a waste of time.” Ken Stuart
“This fella’s nuts.” Andy Blade
“Well, there’s four minutes and ten seconds I’ll never get back.” - Duane H.
“What a waste of space.” – Ken S.
“He has lost his mind.” Carl B.
A British fellow hates Pismo so much he can’t help but keep coming back to troll me.
“No. No. No. Please. No more of this.” – Brian G.
“I’m worried that your videos make a mockery of ukulele playing and do nothing to encourage others.” – Brian G.
“I watched with the sound off. I have no idea what purpose the video serves but, nothing new.” – Brian G.
“Like a blunt pencil. Pointless.” – Brian G.
“The videos you share are rubbish. Please stop now.” – Brian G.
I tried to get “celebrities” to appear on my channel. Several times on episodes, I put out an open invitation for young ukulele virtuoso Jake Shimabukuro to be a guest. I even went backstage to a concert in order to invite him in person but all I ended up with was an episode
about my being turned away by the security guard.
I got ahold of Kato Kaelin from the O.J. Simpson trial. He sent me back a video of him turning me down.
My father-in-law, Cubby, was a “celebrity” of sorts, being one of the original Mouseketeers. He still has Disney fans out there and being related, I figured he’d appear on an episode. He kindly agreed and only politely dissed me in our episode.
Still, some of the nicer comments warm my heart because I may be too dumb to realize they’re just mocking me
Oddly enough, I find some comfort in knowing that all the hateful comments don’t bother me. I was bullied growing up and have tried to avoid conflict my whole life. But in the case of Pismo Ukulele, knowing how so many people can become unhinged over the most innocent thing just shows me that people just like to complain. Maybe we’re all trollers by instinct. So to them, I offer this: “You don’t have to watch Pismo Ukulele, ever again. But thanks for trying.”
I’m sure they’ll hate hearing that.
I have learned two lessons from my experimental hobby making a YouTube channel.
First: it is good to give oneself goals and consistency.
Second: If you want more views and nicer comments, your tutorial channel should contain useful information, taught by someone who knows what they are doing.
I’m still working on the second lesson.
More info: youtube.com
