Photography & Digital ArtOCT 18, 2024

How I Turned My Struggles With Depression Into A Creative Outlet, Only To Realize It’s A Diary Of My Isolation (10 Pics)

MAHMOOD • iNKSTECHSHUB • PHOTOGRAPHY • MUSCAT and Diana Lopetaitė

At 34, Mahmood finds himself trapped in a depressed-ass life that feels increasingly suffocating. Living in Oman, a country that should promise warmth and opportunity, he instead faces a harsh reality where systemic social issues, like racism and discrimination, compound his struggles.

He is sandwiched between the pizza delivery guy and the gynecologist (they both can smell it but cannot eat it).

As a foreigner, opportunities seem scarce, and the pervasive sense of exclusion from mainstream society weighs heavily on him. His efforts to find employment have been fruitless, leaving him without a sense of purpose or financial security. That's why he's dying in thirst for PYT (pretty young thing) but still being 'Professional Single,' rather scared of getting the financial disease called WIFE (Worries Invited For Ever).

#1 Street Lights Photography

3points

With no support or inspiration, the world feels bleak. Freedom, something so essential, seems far out of reach. In the face of this isolation, Mahmood created Émerveiller Design Lab and turned to photography, particularly street, product, wedding, nature, and architectural photography, as a creative outlet.

As a joking way to put it, he's becoming so dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept.

However, what was once a form of expression now mirrors every inch of his inner turmoil. The photographs, meant to capture the beauty of the surroundings, instead reflect darkness and gloom—empty streets, harsh lines of buildings, shadows creeping into every frame.

Unable to explore his ideas nor express anything, his pain echoes and grows longer and longer, thousands of inches every year. Even the difference between "Oooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about just three inches.

#2 Street Lights Photography (2024)

2points

#3 City Street Lights Photography Year 2024 No Copyrights

2points

Through his lens, Mahmood sees not just the physical structures of goddamn Arab country Oman but a reflection of his emotional state. The lack of color, the overwhelming shadows, and the lonely streets are metaphors for his own struggles. They represent the feeling of being invisible, overlooked, and trapped in a place that offers no comfort or understanding.

In a world where society feels like a barrier rather than a support system, his work has unintentionally become a diary of his isolation.

His photography, though somber, is a testament to his existence—silent but undeniable. Yet, despite this outlet, the weight of daily suffocation remains, making each day harder to endure.

We know an African wise saying: "If you go to sleep with an itching buttock, you are sure to wake up with smelly fingers." Maybe that is the reality of his fate, where hope is hospitalized (gunned down) by depression.