People are wired differently. What may be hilarious to one may be hurtful and tasteless to another. And the worst thing you can do is to invalidate the feelings of the person you offended.
This woman knows these feelings all too well, having experienced them firsthand with her immediate family. After enduring mocking pranks from her stepdaughters and her husband’s gaslighting during her birthday, she requested some distance from all of them.
But, instead of showing any understanding, the husband somehow found a way to make himself look like the victim.
What may seem like a “harmless” prank for one person can greatly offend another
Image credits: jcfotograf/Envato (not the actual photo)
For this family, what was deemed a practical joke turned into a huge problem
The author posted screenshots of how the conversation with the husband went
Image credits: Image-Source/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Proud-Cantaloupe3449
Pranks can open a person’s old wounds and deep-seated issues
Pranks are highly subjective, and that’s what makes them problematic. The person doing it will likely find it hilarious and harmless, without knowing how it affects the individual on the receiving end.
They are unaware that such jokes may be triggering, to the point that they can reopen old wounds.
“Pranks can trigger past trauma, cause hypervigilance, or an erosion of trust in a relationship,” author and therapist Dr. Stephanie Sarkis wrote in an article for Psychology Today, adding that practical jokes done in bad taste can also be an attempt to gain control over partners or family members.
Image credits: simonapilolla/Envato (not the actual photo)
According to Dr. Sarkis, any pranks that harm a person psychologically and negatively affect the relationship are not worth doing.
Meanwhile, gaslighting also has a profound effect on the person receiving them. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Joni Johnston, it rewires their brain to default to self-doubt. Worse, they become hypervigilant and are unable to trust the overcautiousness they feel.
Dr. Johnston notes that people who have gone through gaslighting often have brain scans that are similar to those with PTSD. She adds that recovering from it requires external validation and rebuilding a narrative.
The author likely won’t be able to do these things in her current environment, and distancing herself was the right decision. The husband should have been more understanding instead of playing the victim.
The author also provided more information in the comments
Some commenters had opinions against the husband
However, there were a few who thought the author may have overreacted
