Newlywed Learns Husband Doesn’t Find Her Attractive After Eavesdropping On His Conversation

Relationships are tricky, but, at the very least, you should probably expect that your partner will like you. If the relationship has progressed as far as marriage, then there shouldn’t be even a shadow of a doubt.

A woman on her honeymoon vented her feelings to the internet after she overheard her husband say, on the phone, that he didn’t find her attractive. Netizens shared some advice and stories and later, the woman shared a sizable update on how she planned to proceed. Later, a relationship advice channel posted a video about the woman’s plight.

It's important to differentiate between trust issues based on trauma and trust issues that come from real experiences. This is not to say that trauma is “made up” but it’s entirely possible to be insecure in a loving relationship just because of bad experiences in the past. As Kali Wolken, a mental health counselor in Michigan stated in an interview with PsychCentral, “Where trust is based on learned experiences, paranoia has no origin story. With paranoia, there isn’t evidence to support the suspicion cast on a person or experience.”

However, this is clearly not what is happening in this story. Indeed, if anything, this case is the sort of event that causes trust issues in a later relationship. It’s important to note that the husband does not seem to be taking any real, proactive steps to fix the situation. One could perhaps argue that he just said these things to get his friends “off his back,” but as a married man, his first instinct should be to defend his wife. This isn’t some burnt out, ten-years-in-the-running marriage, they are still on their honeymoon.

It’s also telling that this isn’t just some shocked reaction, the woman sat on this emotion for over five weeks to better understand what to do. The fact that it didn’t just go away suggests that this is now a major sticking point, one that she can’t just sweep under the rug. It’s unfortunate that she had to turn to the internet, as normally this is the sort of question one discusses with close friends and perhaps family members.

Of course, this is also the sort of issue one can be pretty self conscious about, so the anonymity of the internet does provide some sort of refuge. This is perhaps why the internet is littered with these sorts of tales. Fortunately, netizens were sympathetic and offered a lot of advice and suggestions, as well as some similar stories, all of which can be found below.

After all, it never hurts to know that you aren’t alone in your experience. It’s also good to get a second opinion because once you get too far in your own head with certain ideas, it becomes difficult to see what is right in front of you. With enough time and stress, any idea can morph and people start being willing to accept any answer that makes them feel better, even if it’s not what they actually need.

The woman needs to first of all talk to her husband, as the vast majority of the comments suggested, which she did, as you can read in the sizable update further in the post itself. But she also needs to consider what he might answer and how she should react. In short, she needs to understand herself, what sort of relationship she is willing to put up with. This also means facing the reality that she might have to end this if she doesn’t get the assurance she needs.