With a spouse obviously comes disputes because disagreeing about things is just how people survive together. Of course, solving these small fights is how a relationship stays strong. But when a partner suddenly starts acting unreasonably, how long till they stretch things too far?
The original poster was stumped when her husband suddenly said that he was not going to attend her best friend’s wedding. And when she asked him why, he didn’t give any specific reason, just told her to cook up some lie on his behalf!
More info: Mumsnet
When your spouse suddenly starts acting unreasonable, it can put you in a difficult position
Image credits: freepik/ Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's friend of 20 years is getting married and she is the bridesmaid, but her husband's behavior is stressing her out
Image credits: Strawberrysaucee
Image credits: micheile henderson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Just a week before, he declared that he was not attending the wedding, and no matter how much she tried, he refused to give any reason
Image credits: Strawberrysaucee
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He also refused to budge on his decision and asked the poster to come up with a lie to cover for him, but she said she wouldn't do that and he should tell the bride himself
Image credits: Strawberrysaucee
She asked her mom to go instead but the husband acted all sad after this, it ended up in a big fight where he said that he was going to stay with his dad
In today’s story, OP is super stressed about a wedding because of her husband. It’s her best friend's wedding and she’s the bridesmaid. But just a few days before, her husband declared that he was not going to attend. Any best friend would get angry if her husband did this, and on top of it, he didn’t give any particular reason.
All he said was that he would not attend and wouldn’t be forced, even daring to ask her to make up an excuse for his absence. But OP refused as she didn’t want to lie to her best friend just for him, so she simply asked her husband to tell her himself.
But she also didn’t want her friend to lose money as the meal was £115 per person. Well, she later gave us an update that she asked her mom to accompany her. But ever since, her husband has completely flipped and started acting sad, claiming that she’s the one who made him look bad.
As frustrating as his behavior sounds, OP also told us a few more details about him in the comments. She mentioned that he enjoyed being the center of attention and thought that everything revolved around him and how he felt. That was not all, because apparently, he ruins occasions that aren’t about him by sulking and being moody.
Well, we definitely sniffed a few red flags here as she went on to say that it was a pattern that she had started noticing. And after this whole situation, he was moping and stating that they were not in a good place. Lastly, he ended up saying that he was going to his dad’s place to get some space and save them an argument.
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When folks saw this story, they couldn’t help but point their fingers at her husband and call him a narcissist. Research suggests that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) affects males more than females, so what people are saying might be true.
As per HelpGuide, “People with NPD are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. They tend to turn the blame on others. They are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks.”
Now, that’s just what happened in this situation, where the husband blamed OP after she invited her mom when it was all his fault. Some netizens also pointed out that he was just controlling her by exerting his power and upsetting her on such an important day. Others also mentioned that he was trying to cause friction between friends, just so he could isolate her.
Choosing Therapy has stated that when a husband tries to isolate you from your loved ones, it’s a clear sign that he is controlling and using tactics to maintain an unequal sense of power within a relationship. It looks like the netizens were right, after all.
Many of them advised her to forget him, just attend the wedding, and enjoy herself. They felt that it would be more fun without him, anyway. Some also asked her to straightaway dump him. OP replied that she had contemplated it before, but didn't find his behavior bad enough to take that step and uproot her child's life.
However, she also realized that her being unhappy was reason enough to leave him, and it's quite fair. Even people stressed that this moody and sulky behavior was too much to put up with in the long run. But then, she would have to bear the brunt of the finances on her own, which she felt was a barrier to taking this step.
Well, it’s quite a sticky situation she’s stuck in, isn’t it? What would you have done in her shoes? Let us know in the comments below!
People were baffled by his controlling and narcissistic behavior and they advised the poster to dump him
