No one likes to hear negative comments about their appearance, but they tend to be especially hurtful when coming from a loved one’s mouth.
A woman on Reddit shared her story of her husband body-shaming her; even taking it as far as throwing away her food. To make matters worse, the woman had just had a baby, which meant she needed the calories for both herself and the little one, which the husband didn’t seem to understand or care for.
Body-shaming comments might hurt even more when coming from someone you love
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This woman had to endure her husband body-shaming her right after giving birth to their daughter
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Body shaming can have strong negative effects on the person on the receiving end
Body shaming, no matter who it’s coming from, can have strong negative effects on the person on the receiving end. Take fat shaming, for instance; in addition to the negative impact it has on one’s mental well-being, it can also make them gain weight, instead of losing it. Research suggests that the more exposed to weight bias and discrimination people are, the more likely they are to become obese, even if they were thin before.
The research also emphasized that fat shaming is linked to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, eating disorders, and exercise avoidance, which are detrimental to both one's physical and mental health. Sadly, fat shaming, and body shaming in general, seems to be a global phenomenon, affecting people of all sizes and ages everywhere.
APA pointed out that more than 40% of adults in the US, and reportedly even greater numbers abroad, experience weight-based stigma at some point of their lives, also referred to as sizeism. For Americans, physicians and coworkers are reportedly its most common sources.
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Women gaining weight during pregnancy is not only expected, but necessary for both their and the baby’s health
The OP revealed that she wasn’t overweight or even chubby before the pregnancy and led a rather active lifestyle; but it goes without saying that many things change during a pregnancy. When it comes to weight gain, the numbers differ with each soon-to-be-mother, depending on their body mass index (BMI), but according to recommendations (for those pregnant with one baby), they should gain somewhere between 11 and 40 pounds (roughly 5 to 18 kilograms).
If before falling pregnant, the woman was considered underweight based on her BMI, she should gain roughly 28-40 pounds (13-18 kilograms). If her weight was considered ‘normal’ based on the index, after stepping on the scale she should expect to see a number that’s 25-35 higher, if shown in pounds (11-16 if in kilograms). Women who were considered overweight and obese might put on additional 15-25 (7-11 kg) or 11-20 (5-9 kg) pounds respectively.
In order to meet the health requirements and weight goals, pregnant women might have to increase their calorie consumption by roughly 300 calories per day. But even when the baby arrives, they should continue to do so, as their bodies will need the extra calories to produce a sufficient amount of milk.
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Research suggests that the way women view their body is not significantly affected by whether they’re pregnant or not
As the body changes during a pregnancy, the woman’s views towards it might too. Yet research on body image dissatisfaction between pregnant and non-pregnant females, based on a survey of roughly 5000 of the former and 4000 of the latter, found that their body image dissatisfaction was not statistically different during pregnancy compared with when not pregnant.
The research emphasized that the individuality of the experience of carrying a child seems to be paramount when it comes to the body changes women go through. It also found that it’s the internalization of the thin ideal that influences them more than simply being aware of such an ideal and the pressures it often entails. But the importance of ensuring a healthy pregnancy and the development of the fetus was found to be larger than the importance of such internalization.
Fellow redditors in the comments didn’t hold back their criticism towards the OP’s husband for caring for the thin ideal more than he did for her and the baby’s health. One netizen even explained the ins and outs of animal husbandry to prove that some of his remarks were not only uncalled for, but incorrect, too. They all shared their opinions in the comments.
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual image)
Netizens criticized both the husband and the woman’s family members who took his side
