Everything in this world, one way or another, has its end. And, what's most disappointing, often the denouement can come completely unexpectedly. You may think that you have a happy family living in harmony, peace and prosperity - but this world can shatter into pieces in just a few days.
Something similar happened to the user u/wifeinneedofhelp, whose story we want to tell you today: a mom of two, whose marriage broke up completely unexpectedly for her, and the ex-husband also wanted to take the house and children too. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves here and go on reading.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a woman in her 30s whose husband recently came out as gay and demanded a divorce
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was devastated since this news came absolutely unexpectedly for her but tried to remain supportive towards him
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, the man also stated that he wants full custody over their 2 kids, and to have the house and savings as well
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: SHVETS production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The spouses both contributed to their house but since the man was the main breadwinner, his share was mathematically bigger
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman could have made a good career if she didn't have to raise 2 kids - but the man just told 'he's trying to be fair'
Image credits: wifeinneedofhelp
So the woman just decided to take it online in order to get support and advice from netizens
So, the Original Poster (OP) is a 33-year-old woman, whose husband is a year older. The couple had been living together for eight years, have two children, and the woman sincerely believed that they had a good marriage. Unfortunately, the husband, as it turned out, had a different point of view on this issue...
One day, a few months ago, the man confessed to the wife that he had recently realized he was gay and was now asking for a divorce. Needless to say, the author was completely stunned by this news. She tried to be as supportive as possible, because she understood that this was an important step in her spouse's life - but subsequent events turned out to be even more unexpected.
The thing is that the husband was the main breadwinner for the family and, although the author also had her own job, the main contribution to their savings and the house was, accordingly, his. Therefore, the guy claimed that he was filing for full custody over their kids and wanted to take the house as well.
According to the man, he's just trying to be fair, but our heroine cannot shake the thought that he was simply taking advantage of the circumstances. After all, if she hadn't spent years bringing up their kids, she too could have made a good career. And now her ex-spouse is trying to sue her for everything, effectively ruining her life.
The woman decided to seek advice from netizens on what to do in this situation. After all, by and large, everything she had over the last eight years of marriage, everything that made up her life - everything is now ready to turn to dust in the wind because of her ex-husband.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Don't rush to give advice to the original poster based on American practice - the woman added that she lives in New Zealand, so the situation may be significantly different. However, any divorce process is to some extent dependent on having a good lawyer. And we sincerely hope that the author has such a lawyer.
According to official statistics, almost 8 thousand couples went through the divorce procedure in New Zealand last year, which is 7.6 divorces per 1,000 marriages. At the same time, 5,901 children under 17 years of age had divorced parents. At the same time, the state supports various specialized programs for spouses preparing for divorce, such as Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) Mediation.
"Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) Mediation is a service designed to help divorced parents, parents going through separation, solo parents or whānau (the Māori language word for the basic extended family group) reach a parenting agreement about the care or custody of children out of court," the program's official website says. Perhaps participating in such a program will help our heroine as well?
In any case, people in the comments to the original post sided with the author as much as possible, stating that divorce laws are actually designed to protect the more vulnerable partner. And in their marriage, she was clearly the more vulnerable one. "If you both live in the west that guy is gonna get a surprise when this gets to court," one of the commenters reasonably wrote. "And he is also going to have to pay for your lawyer."
The responders literally urge the original poster not to agree to any of her now-ex's suggestions and demands, and to refer the matter to a lawyer. "What you need to do is the following - and do it immediately: agree to nothing, get a lawyer, follow the lawyer's advice," another person suggested. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this advice?
People in the comments sided with the author unanimously, urging her to get the lawyer involved as soon as possible - and actually nothing more
