For many, cheating signals the end of a relationship. Unfortunately, many people still choose to step out on their significant other. One survey in 2017 found that 20% of men and 13% of women admitted to cheating on their spouse. It's always hurtful, no matter the reason, but it might sting even more when it's as superficial as a change in one's looks.
According to this woman, her husband chose to cheat because she couldn't lose the weight she put on after giving birth. So, he started seeing a woman from work. Wanting to get this massive weight off her chest, the woman decided to share her story online.
Bored Panda reached out to pregnancy and postpartum therapist Sophie Harris to discuss pregnancy weight stigma. She told us more about why pressure to 'bounce back' can be harmful to new mothers and how they can deal with it.
More info: Looking After Mum
Having a baby can cause some drastic physical changes to a woman's body
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This woman found out her husband was cheating on her because she failed to lose her baby weight after giving birth
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Image credits: Luis Zambrano / pexels (not the actual photo)
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Many women still experience body shaming while pregnant and after giving birth
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With increasing awareness about body positivity and the harms of body shaming, you'd think people would be more considerate to one another. Yet fat shaming women who have just given birth still happens. A 2020 study found that almost two-thirds of pregnant and postpartum women experience weight stigma.
Pregnancy and postpartum therapist Sophie Harris tells Bored Panda that she is aware of these types of statistics. She agrees that new mothers often get shamed for their appearance. "In particular, there is still a pressure from [the] media for postpartum mums to 'bounce back,'" she says.
"I think there is more awareness for this shaming than previously, but the reality is that mums who lose weight immediately are often celebrated, even when this weight loss can be caused by stress or other less desirable factors," Harris notes.
"As a pregnancy and postpartum therapist, I see mums putting so much pressure on themselves to lose weight that it can be such a big contributor to feeling depressed and having low self-esteem after having a baby," she points out.
Indeed, many mothers face the pressure to return to their pre-baby weight. The pressure is, of course, exacerbated by the media and celebrities. Model Gisele Bündchen, for example, posed for Vogue in 2010, only a month after giving birth.
"There is little space given to the inevitable changes that mums face after having a baby," the postpartum therapist explains. "It can leave many mums feeling like a failure for not being the same as they were before having a baby."
So, what can new moms do to avoid feeling this way? "Try to remind yourself of what your body has achieved," Harris suggests. "Try to focus on nourishing your body with nutritious foods with the aim to look after yourself and support your recovery rather than losing weight. Try [to] give yourself as much self-care as possible, massages, time in nature, rest."
"Remember that society has got it wrong about post-baby bodies, and that you are doing ok just as you are."
Fat shaming during or after pregnancy can have detrimental effects on one's health
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The researcher behind the 2020 study about how widespread weight stigma is for women during and after pregnancy, Angela Incollingo Rodriguez, conducted another study about its effects on women's emotional well-being.
The study revealed that the participants had an increased risk of developing unhealthy eating behaviors, depressive symptoms, and stress. "This is a huge problem because these symptoms can not only affect the mother or mother-to-be but also the child," the author explained.
For women who just gave birth, fat shaming can make it more difficult to bond with their baby. Others might have a difficult time breastfeeding. Those who have struggled with anxiety, depression, or eating disorders in the past are also at a much higher risk.
While it can be extremely difficult with so many outside pressures lurking, pregnant and new moms need to work toward acceptance. "The body isn't what it was before. And you've done this beautiful, amazing thing that not everybody gets to experience," Jill Schwartz, a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health, told CNN. "You can grow and embrace that. But your body isn't going to be just like how it was before, just like life isn't going to be how it was before."
Friends and family, healthcare providers, and the media should play a role in minimizing the stigma
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In an interview about her research, Angela Incollingo Rodriguez explained that many people need to learn to be more accepting of all shapes and sizes. That includes the new mom's immediate family members, friends, healthcare specialists, and the media.
Physicians and other healthcare providers should have sensitivity training to appropriately discuss weight with pregnant and postpartum patients. "Strictly following traditional weight rules based on body mass index (BMI) for pregnant and postpartum women can be considered old school," Incollingo Rodriguez pointed out.
"Doctors have been educated to think like that for years. But, if doctors focused less on the numbers on a scale and more on a patient's healthy eating and exercise habits, they could have a more positive effect on a patient's overall health, and on their baby's health while avoiding potentially stigmatizing their patients."
Celebrities and media, according to her, should also address this unfair expectation. "There are already celebrity mothers out there, like model Chrissy Teigen, for example, who are celebrating their healthy bodies, even if their figures are fuller post-baby. That gives a positive message. That's the goal, ultimately—healthy mom, healthy baby, healthy relationships," Incollingo Rodriguez explained.
"Divorce will be your biggest weightloss yet," wrote one commenter, echoing the sentiments of many
People urged the new mom to find a divorce lawyer ASAP
Other women shared their cheating husband stories
