Ever found yourself in a “thing” with someone that’s so laid back it’s basically horizontal? Yeah, there’s a word for that: a situationship. While these casual arrangements definitely come with their perks, they can also come crashing down like a house of cards, fast.
One woman turned to an online community to share how, after three years “together”, a glance at her part-time partner’s phone got her guessing. Netizens suggested some social media sleuthing, but when she started digging, her stomach started sinking.
Situationships are famous for casual fun and blurred boundaries, as long as everyone is on the same page, that is
Image credits: dimaberlin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman was three years deep into an exclusive situationship and everything was going fine, but her gut kept telling her something was off
Image credits: romankosolapov / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The couple saw each other often, facetimed every day, and spent nights at each other’s places, but neither wanted to remarry or move in together
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While she was very open with her friends and family about him, none of his knew about her, but she didn’t think much of it since he claimed he was just a very private person
Image credits: Joseph Recca / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One night she caught a glimpse of his iPhone’s screensaver, a black and white pic of a woman in her thirties he claimed had auto loaded when he updated his phone
Image credits: kroshka__nastya / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Not sure about how his iPhone updates worked since she’s always been Android, the woman got a sick feeling and took her concerns to netizens
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After hearing opinions and facts from an online community, she did some digging on social media and uncovered the brutal truth - he’d been cheating on her for months
Image credits: IcySwan
What followed was an STI test, a confrontation, and a half-baked apology, ending in her blocking the busted jerk on everything and dumping his stuff in his front garden
For three years, the original poster (OP) thought she’d cracked the dream setup: a chill, exclusive situationship with no pressure and no rings. Daily calls, regular sleepovers, honesty promised upfront. Friends and family knew about him. He knew about her kids. Everything felt oddly adult… except one tiny detail: he kinda pretended she didn’t exist.
He never answered her calls around his friends, introduced her to no one, and literally blocked his mum from coming over to his place with a sneaky key-in-the-door maneuver. Red flags waved politely, but OP just waved back. Thanks to his shifts, Saturdays were off-limits. Totally normal, she thought. Definitely nothing shady going on.
Then came a moment straight out of a Netflix thriller, featuring a rare Saturday visit and a glimpse at an iPhone screensaver of a very real-looking woman. His explanation? iOS update. Apparently, Apple now randomly assigned black-and-white girlfriends as wallpapers. When he quickly swapped the pic out, OP’s stomach dropped.
After some Reddit-style detective work, the lies unraveled fast. Spanish “lads’ holiday”? Nope. His mate was in Bali with his girlfriend. STI test? Obligatory. Confrontation? Glorious. Turns out he’d secretly moved in a “lodger,” started dating her, and already introduced her to his mum and sister.
Outrageously, he asked to keep dating both women. OP clapped back by blocking him, boxing up his stuff, and dumping it on his lawn like an emotional Amazon Prime. Hurt? Yup. But, thankfully, done. Now she’s chosen therapy and self-respect. Her sister’s verdict? Some people are blessings, others are lessons. This one? The full syllabus.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
What a mess, right? OP had a hunch something was up, but the situationship seemed too comfortable to walk away from, so she ignored her intuition. Bad move. But what does science have to say about gut feelings? And what’s the best way to cope with being cheated on? We went looking for answers.
The experts over at Psychology Today say intuition is often written off as irrational guesswork. But in psychological terms, it's the brain's ability to make quick, unconscious judgments by recognizing patterns and signals. Scientists call it interoception. Basically, the brain’s capacity to sense things like heartbeat, muscle tension, and, you guessed it, gut activity.
These internal cues shape our perceptions, behaviors, and yes, even our instincts. If you're curious about building your intuitive muscle, start with meditating, journaling intuitive “hits”, and protecting your energy. Anyone else ready to get in touch with their gut?
Now, on to OP’s big betrayal. The pros from Bellevue Trauma Recovery Center say that when trust is broken it can leave you in a state of doubt and confusion. You might wrestle with vulnerability, worried it could open the doors to more heartache. Basically, you’re stuck in an emotional prison someone else put you in. No fair.
Luckily there are ways to deal with being double-crossed. Practice deep breathing, create a support system, focus on self-care and set healthy boundaries around your emotional space. Hanging out with your bestie helps, too.
OP sounds like she’s on the path to recovery. Here’s hoping she gets over that lying jerk and has her phoenix moment sooner than later. You go girl.
What’s your take on situationships? Worth it, or a wreck waiting to happen? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers shared their own stories of situationships gone wrong, as well as some tech tips
