However partners define cheating, they have to be on the same page about it. Otherwise, one is just using the other. As this woman's experience shows, it can take a long time for the truth to surface.
After she came home from yet another exhausting shift, she found her husband and best friend unusually close on the couch.
She then learned they had been in a relationship for months, and now that everything was out in the open, she turned to the internet for advice on what to do next.
This woman learned that her husband had been "in a relationship" with her best friend for months
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And the shocking news came with a suggestion: that they should all live under the same roof
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Image source: THROWRA_justfml
Some cheaters are forgiven
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Infidelity is difficult to research because not everyone willingly admits to it. But a survey from YouGov suggests that 50 percent of men and 58 percent of women report having had a spouse or partner cheat on them at some point in their lives.
Most of the people who cheated (71%) say they did not want their loved ones to find out about it, and judging by how long the Redditor's husband was "in a relationship" with her friend, it sounds like they wanted to keep their affair a secret as well.
And even though 58% of cheaters were given a second chance and got back together with the partner they betrayed, it's hard to imagine someone could undo such a mess as the one we just read about.
But people who read the woman's story were absolutely appalled by her husband's impudence
The husband absolutely had a choice not to go down this road
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"Being attracted to other people, even when you’re married or in a committed relationship, is normal," said Lauren LaRusso, an infidelity and affairs therapist.
But rather than acting out of impulse and jumping into bed with someone else, LaRusso indirectly suggested there were three alternatives our Redditor's husband could've taken.
"One," she began, "you can go to your spouse and use it as a wake-up call."
"Say something like, 'I think our marriage is at risk. Let's talk about how I'm feeling,'" she said.
LaRusso then encouraged those flirting with unfaithfulness to consider some expert intervention.
"You can pull your spouse aside and say that it's time to go to couple's counseling so that you have a safe and neutral space to talk about what you need in your marriage," she said.
And even if you, for whatever reason, don't want to do those things, you still want to direct your attention inwards.
"You can return your focus towards yourself and ask yourself what is it that you're needing and wanting that you're finding yourself drawn to look for outside of the marriage," the therapist added.
As much as a person might not like these options, she believes they're still healthier than having an affair.
Eventually, the woman posted an update on her future plans
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Image source: THROWRA_justfml
Everyone was glad to hear she was getting a divorce
