It’s important for everyone to have hobbies. Whether you spend your Saturday mornings baking sourdough or playing tennis with your partner, we all need outlets where we can just have some fun. Plus, developing new skills is great for your brain, and getting through a long shift is much easier when you’ve got something to look forward to at the end of the day.
We just have to make sure that our recreational activities don’t turn into obsessions that begin taking over our lives. One woman recently reached out to Reddit for advice after watching her husband’s rock climbing habit ruin her marriage. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
It's healthy for everyone to enjoy hobbies in their spare time
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But this woman's entire life started falling apart when her husband's new hobby turned into an obsession
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Readers provided advice for the mother, and she shared more background information on her situation
Hobbies can greatly benefit our lives, but they can also be expensive and time-consuming
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According to a survey by AYTM, 85% of people consider having hobbies to be important. And over two thirds of respondents reported that they have multiple hobbies themselves. The most popular pastimes are those related to games or video games, fitness and exercise, gardening and landscaping, outdoor activities, arts and crafts and travel and tourism.
And these recreational activities can bring many benefits to a person’s life. Healthline notes that participating in hobbies can decrease negative emotions, help individuals manage stress, help with healthy aging, boost career sustainability and even help regulate certain physiological functions, such as preventing high blood pressure and enhancing sleep quality.
However, we must still be mindful of how our hobbies are impacting our lives. After all, they’re supposed to be how we spend our free time; they should never start to take away from precious time with family or prevent us from working enough to pay the bills.
The AYTM survey found that 62% of respondents agree that hobbies can certainly be time-consuming. And 63% of people wished that they had more time for their hobbies. But these pastimes can also become expensive.
38% of surveyed people admitted that they often make purchases for their hobbies, and 40% say they spend between $11-$30 per month on their hobbies.
And, of course, it can become an issue when a partner or children begin to feel neglected due to all of the time someone has been spending on their pastimes. In fact, this might even venture into the territory of emotional neglect in a marriage.
Once a spouse begins to feel neglected, it can be difficult to repair the marriage
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According to Marriage.com emotional neglect can occur when one spouse shows no interest in their partner, becomes emotionally distant, limits physical affection, ignores special occasions, gives their partner the silent treatment, minimizes their partner's feelings, neglects quality time, avoids meaningful conversations, frequently criticizes and fails to compliment or appreciate their partner.
This kind of behavior can take a huge toll on the partner who is trying desperately to make the relationship work. It may erode their self-esteem, and over time, it can completely ruin the trust in a marriage.
Now, a relationship is not necessarily doomed even if emotional neglect has been taking place. Marriage.com notes that it may be possible to heal if the neglected partner processes their feelings and is able to communicate them effectively.
However, their spouse must be open to repairing the marriage, and often therapy is a necessary step in that journey. It will require patience and persistence, and both parties must be invested in working on the marriage.
But unfortunately, once a couple has reached the point of emotional neglect, divorce may be in their future. In fact, one of the most common reasons why women initiate divorce is having unmet needs.
In this particular situation, the woman has been left to handle all of the childrearing and chores while also working full-time. Meanwhile, she rarely ever gets to see her husband. There’s absolutely no way her needs are getting met when she’s been forced to carry the entire family on her back.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author is making the right choice by leaving her husband? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family issues right here.
Many readers assured the author that she is not the one who has failed her family
