A couple’s wedding day should be one of the happiest days of their lives. All of their closest friends and family members are gathered in one place to celebrate their love story, and they finally get to take their relationship to the next step.
But unfortunately, not everyone gets a magical fairytale wedding. This woman reached out online for advice after her husband made her absolutely miserable during their wedding night. Now, she’s wondering if her marriage is completely ruined only a couple of weeks after tying the knot.
This woman was thrilled to marry the love of her life
Image credits: tonodiaz / envato (not the actual photo)
But only hours after the wedding, she began questioning if their marriage was already doomed
Image credits: seventyfourimages / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRA_white_berry
About 10% of marriages don't make it to their first anniversary
As much as people try to avoid thinking about it, we all know that divorce is a possibility when getting married. After all, about 41% of all first marriages end in divorce. But how long should a couple stick it out before pulling the plug? Some can manage to be happy together for decades before finally deciding that something isn’t working.
Meanwhile, others know within a few short weeks that their marriage was a huge mistake. According to The Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen, approximately one in ten marriages will end in the first year.
Some factors that can impact whether or not a marriage will survive its first year are: whether the couple lived together before marriage or not, financial issues, age, infidelity, lack of communication, unrealistic or unmet expectations, lack of intimacy, mental health or substance use issues, lack of support from family and friends, and unresolved trauma.
Apparently, couples who tie the knot at a young age are more likely to call it quits during the first year, often due to immaturity, lack of life experience and challenges adapting to the responsibilities of marriage. However, just because a couple has been living together before getting hitched doesn’t mean that they’ll be in for a smooth marriage either.
The Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen notes that cohabitation can sometimes provide a false sense of security, making couples assume that because they can live together well, they’re prepared for all of the trials and tribulations that come along with marriage.
Jen Glantz also warns on her blog, The First Years of Marriage, that some couples divorce before ever reaching their first anniversary because they disagree about children, got married to save their relationship, or they’re both unwilling to compromise.
It's common for spouses to complain about their partner's behavior changing after tying the knot
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Another potential issue is a person’s partner changing right after getting married. According to marriage and family therapy specialist Stephen J. Betchen, DSW, one of the most common complaints people have about their partner after getting married is that they’ve changed.
They’re less affectionate, they changed their mind about kids, they don’t want to be intimate, they don’t want to travel, or they’re working far more or less than before.
Betchen proposes two potential explanations for these changes. First: “The spouse who made a seemingly sudden shift was never happy or satisfied with the role they were playing prior to their marriage.” But it’s also possible that the spouse who feels like their partner tricked them never really knew them in the first place.
“Because of their own needs, these individuals may not look closely enough at their potential mates, and in a sense, do not get to know who their partners truly are,” Betchen explains. “This mistake could serve to unconsciously replicate their history of not getting their needs met.”
In this particular situation, however, many readers warned the author that her husband clearly doesn’t respect her. Marriage.com recommends that anyone dealing with a disrespectful husband initiate an honest and calm conversation. It’s also important to set boundaries and make it clear that his behavior has been unacceptable.
If necessary, seek out a couple’s therapist or marriage counseling. And remember to prioritize your own self-care. Finally, if things don’t start to improve, begin to re-evaluate your relationship. As painful as divorce can be, it’s even worse to feel lonely within a marriage for the rest of your life.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s time for this woman to pull the plug on her marriage? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar marital drama right here.
Later, the author responded to a couple of commenters and provided more context on her situation
Many readers warned the woman that her spouse is finally showing his true colors, noting that his behavior is likely to only get worse
