Even dream couples get their wires crossed from time to time, but having a complete communication breakdown is cause for real concern. If partners don’t see eye to eye on something and no compromise can be reached, their relationship is basically doomed.
One dad turned to an online community to vent after his wife not only caused him to miss his daughter’s birth but went ahead and named the baby a name he’d expressly forbidden, too. Now he’s asking netizens if considering divorce is an overreaction.
More info: Reddit
When it comes to picking a baby name, the path to agreement can be one of the trickiest couples will ever navigate
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One guy and his wife had created their own baby name lists, but things started to get tense when she leaned hard into a name he really didn’t want
Image credits: Vivziepop / YouTube
After a heartfelt conversation, the couple agreed that she could choose the name, but only from the shortlists they’d both settled on
Image credits: Ben Iwara / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The drama started at the baby shower, when the wife’s family gave the couple gifts with the forbidden name on them
Image credits: ThrowAwayDumbestName
When the guy confronted his wife, she moved out, forced him to miss their baby’s birth, and stuck with the name, forcing him to ask netizens if divorce would be an overreaction
The original poster (OP,) a 31-year-old self-described nerd, met his wife at an anime convention, and their shared fandoms became the backbone of their relationship. After 6 years of marriage and buying a house, they started trying for a baby. Even then, picking names got complicated, especially around how obvious a fandom reference should be.
They made careful lists, agreeing any fandom nod should be subtle. However, once they learned they were having a girl, OP’s wife became obsessed with one name: Vriska, from Homestuck. She pushed relentlessly, rejecting all alternatives, until they finally agreed she’d choose only from their original shortlists.
Things went south at the baby shower, though, when her family revealed personalized gifts bearing the forbidden name. OP stayed silent until they got home, where a confrontation spiraled into screaming, accusations, and his wife digging her nails into his arm. Then she fled to her mother’s house, shutting him out as she went into early labor.
After missing his own daughter’s birth, OP discovered his wife had legally named the baby Vriska, then tried to return home. That’s when he drew a line: therapy and a name change, or divorce and a custody fight. Now, with both families hassling him, he’s wondering whether compromise is possible, or if his trust has been shattered forever.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be honest, it sounds like OP’s wife is way out of line. Trying to railroad him into a name he clearly expressed wouldn’t be OK is one thing but excluding him from the birth is seriously below the belt. Is there any way for their relationship to be repaired? And what’s the best way to pick names with your partner, anyway?
The experts over at Psychology Today say that Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT,) a type of short-term therapy, works to improve couple relationships by rekindling their physical and emotional bonds. It’s especially useful when couples arrive at a therapist in such emotional distress that they’re pretty much convinced the relationship is hopeless.
Whether working in couples therapy, or in individual therapy, EFT explores the nature of our connections and the emotions they create. It helps couples restructure their relationship, opening up a path towards new experiences. Sounds exactly what OP and his wife might need.
Now, when it comes to picking a baby name, Babies for Beginners breaks it down nicely. Some of the best tips include giving each other veto power, preparing yourself for opinions from friends and family and friends, and remembering that some names have unavoidable nicknames.
Other good advice includes actually saying the name out loud, testing it out for a while, considering popularity versus uniqueness, honoring family names, investigating cultural or religious associations, and looking for surprising baby name inspiration in unusual places, like your favorite obscure films or books.
It seems OP and his wife have got a lot of work to do even before they broach the baby name dilemma again. Here’s hoping they can find the right therapist and pick up the pieces of their recently rocky relationship.
What’s your take? Do you think OP’s threat of divorce and custody court is an overreaction, or does his wife have some serious amends to make? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the original poster's wife did him dirty and might even have mental health issues
