Being a teenager is really difficult; I mean, what with the drastic changes in your physical appearance, having parents who guide you and are emotionally present for you is important. However, when this foundational support is missing, kids tend to act out and that can cause trouble for their families.
Take Reddit user Technical-Door5443, for instance, who was so burnt out from her stepdaughter’s habitual lies that she told her husband that the teen was his responsibility now. Netizens empathized with her and blamed it on the husband, claiming that he has been an emotionally unavailable dad!
More info: Reddit
Having emotionally present parents is important when kids enter their teen phase and go through multiple changes
Image credits: user15694850 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster has a 13-year-old stepdaughter whom she loves just like her own children, but the teen has recently started lying a lot about things
Image credits: Technical-Door5443
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day she told the poster to rest while she looked after her kids, but when she woke up, the teen was gone, and they found her only after 6 hours of searching
Image credits: Technical-Door5443
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, she exaggerated having a stomach ache, but when the poster took her to the ER, she realized the truth and was almost close to tears with anger
Image credits: Technical-Door5443
She was so sick of everything that she told her husband that the teen was now his responsibility, but he felt that she was going too far
Today, we dive into the life of the original poster (OP) as she tells us how she has had enough of the lies that constantly come from her 13-year-old stepdaughter. She loves her like her own daughter, but recently she has noticed all the habitual lies that the teen makes up about small and big things as well, and sticks to them until proved wrong.
The poster then speaks about an incident that took place in December where the teen mentioned that she would look after OP’s kids so the woman could rest for a while. Well, after she woke up, she noticed that the girl was gone with the dog, leaving behind her 6-month-old baby, 6-year-old daughter, and 4-year-old son, all alone.
The poor woman frantically searched for 3 hours but couldn’t find her and even her husband left work to look for her. It was only after notifying the cops that a search and rescue dog found the teen after 6 hours, and to this day, she refuses to share where she had gone! Sounds quite alarming, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, that’s not all, for OP also revealed another recent thing that happened just after she recovered from an illness. The 13-year-old mentioned that she had a stomach ache for 2 days, so the poster decided to take her to the pediatric quick care. She even questioned the kid whether she was really sick, to which the girl replied that she was.
Well, the doctor suggested going to the ER, but once there, OP realized that the teen had just been exaggerating things, and boy was she mad! She was almost close to tears with anger and told her husband that the girl was his responsibility now, but he felt that she was just overwhelmed and overreacting. When OP vented online, folks disagreed with her husband.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Many people pointed out that the poster has been bearing the brunt of raising all the kids along with her stepdaughter and they could sense how exhausted she sounded. They also claimed that it was natural for her to react the way she did as the strain on her was getting too much and anyone might lose it in such a situation.
As per the American Psychological Association, “Parental burnout usually occurs in stages. The first stage is overwhelming exhaustion. Parents of teens may experience emotional exhaustion because of conflicts with their children. Next, burned-out parents tend to distance themselves from their kids to preserve their energy. Lastly, parents notice a loss of fulfillment in parenting.”
It looks like something similar happened with the poster as she has been solely burdened with childcare and has also had to deal with the conflict of the teen and her habitual lies. Many people blamed it on the emotionally unavailable father who needs to step up and take equal responsibility for his kid.
Healthline mentions that it can be developmentally typical for teens to exaggerate the truth or tell lies. The article also explains that teens who feel insignificant or unappreciated might lie to gain a sense of recognition or validation from people who matter to them, like peers or parents. Seems like Redditors were right for highlighting that she was doing it to get attention from her dad.
Bored Panda reached out to the poster who gave us an update, "She started therapy. I am still doing everything for her. I have not 'washed my hands clean' I just needed my husband to step up and that's partly why I haven't left him. There would be no one in her corner."
Speaking about the most challenging part of the situation, OP said that she assumed responsibility for all children and the stress of everything. It made her realize that people have to be careful who they choose as their partner and who they have kids with as not all men are created equal.
Lastly, she also shared some advice for stepparents going through the same situation, "Remind yourself that you're the stepparent. Even if you feel like the real parent, you're not, and the bio parent should be assuming most of the responsibilities for their child. You should be secondary."
Do you agree with her? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens sympathized with the exhausted poster and claimed the teen has been doing it for attention from her emotionally unavailable dad and needs therapy
