When you start a life with someone, you expect them to be honest about a lot of things, especially those that concern both of you. That can include a variety of things, from the people you're getting involved with to money.
The latter is what drove a wedge between the OP and her husband. But it's not the common story about them struggling with finances and that impacting their relationship – this one includes a lot of secrecy, mental spiraling, and broken dreams of the future.
More info: mumsnet
Planning your life with someone means being honest with them about a lot
Image credits: zzbfoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yet, sometimes people aren't that honest with their partners – just like the husband from today's story
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, the wife learned that her husband is a lot of money in debt, way more than he said previously
Image credits: mrmohock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The news made her mentally spiral, since for years she thought he was slowly paying it off
Image credits: deirdrechilly
Turns out, he was only increasing it, which now stumped all plans the woman had for their future
One day, almost seemingly out of the blue, the OP’s husband told her he was £21k in debt, which is around $27,000. What made this revelation so shocking was that just a week prior to this, he told her he was £7k in debt, which is three times less of an amount and still seemed like a big one back then.
You see, when the couple met, they both were in debt, but they decided to work on it and pay it off so they could have a better future. And that’s what the woman has been doing for years – working on promotions with pay raises, working two jobs, and all things like that.
She thought her husband was doing the same thing. But, oh boy, was she wrong. He was hesitant to get a 2nd job, kept fighting with his wife about money, was never open about his finances, and spent money on relatively pointless stuff.
Well, it’s not surprising that the woman is experiencing such stress regarding money – she’s not the only one in the world stressing about it. In fact, money is considered one of the most common stressors, especially when it comes to affording things or managing debt.
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After all, if you really think about it, a debt, even if it’s a relatively small one, can basically ruin a person’s life. Well, at least it will majorly affect it in various ways. Starting with financial issues – if you’re in debt, it might be way harder or, in some cases, even impossible to get a loan for something else or a mortgage.
That’s what the OP is worried about, too – since she imagined both their debts were slowly getting cleared, she let herself dream about getting a house, which now will be much harder to do.
Not to mention her mental spiraling – debt can also affect one’s mental well-being, too. The stress that it brings on not only feels terrible at the moment, but also can take a toll in the long run. For instance, it can bring on depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And we don’t have to tell you how detrimental mental illnesses can be.
Even if all of this wasn't enough for the OP, there was also the matter of the husband’s dishonesty and straight-up selfishness. That’s why netizens expressed that, in their opinion, her life would be much easier without his weight around her neck.
Do you agree with the netizens’ stance? If not, please explain yours in the comments!
Netizens urged the woman to dump this man – in their eyes, he's only a weight around her neck, nothing more
