While I do end up repeating this one thing over and over again—that socializing is practically rocket science and we as humans are destined to goof up—some things in being social are harder to pick up on.
Avoiding saying dumb stuff or reading a person’s non-verbal cues are hard, but still some of the easier ones compared to things like respecting boundaries. It’s because they are inherently invisible until you learn more about the person. And we’re all different in that regard.
But while that is the case, it’s certainly no excuse to do whatever the hell you want and pretend you can’t help it. You can, especially if you’re told about it.
This one woman approached this topic in her recent Am I The A-Hole post, asking if she was wrong to confront her husband about overly showering their surrogate with attention and gifts, one of which is a $9,000 car he bought her without consulting the Mrs.
More Info: Reddit
Pregnancies are hard as they are without the guy taking things too far and buying a $9k car for his surrogate
Image credits: rawpixel
A 34-year-old wife and her 37-year-old husband introduced as Hunter have been going through some fertility issues, which led them to getting a surrogate to birth their baby.
For the most part, everything was all fine and dandy and everyone was keeping to their word. But, the husband has started acting somewhat strange in the wife’s eyes.
He started focusing a lot of his attention on the surrogate. So much, in fact, that he started skipping work to visit her, getting things for her that she never asked for, chatting with her online, and relentlessly offering stuff.
The wife of said guy went to Reddit to find out if she was right to get furious with her husband who kept overstepping every boundary their surrogate had
Image credits: Throwawayhunter37
It became such a problem that she complained to the wife about it. She didn’t even know much of this was happening until she heard it from the surrogate.
So, the wife confronted the husband about it. He said that he’s doing this for their son, not her. All fine and dandy, but still, she asked him to stop taking it to an extreme degree. He got furious, accusing the wife of being jealous of the woman that’s carrying their child because it makes her look bad.
Despite explaining that the surrogate was the one who complained about it herself, the husband refused to believe that was the case. Until another, more serious incident happened.
The husband, however, didn't see the problem, and explained he was just doing it for their son
Image credits: Throwawayhunter37
The surrogate called the wife again, saying that Hunter came over to her place, requested that guests leave, and then proceeded to show her the $9,000 car he bought for her. Apparently, this purchase was not blessed by the Mrs, and that made things much more dramatic.
Fuming, the wife called him and demanded he returned home. He did… “eventually”. And then she commenced a verbal butt-whoopin’, explaining how he’s been overstepping, disrespectful, and inappropriate towards the surrogate, and demanded he stop. This is all besides the car.
This led to a rant by him, and an accusation that the wife didn’t love their son enough, and then a storming out of the house and a refusal to speak. Because of this, the wife started wondering if she wasn’t too harsh with him, prompting the AITA post.
But it all culminated when he bought the surrogate a $9,000 car—something she didn't ask for—without consulting the Missus
Image credits: Throwawayhunter37
Speaking of which, it hit the internet and went viral instantly. As of this article, it has nearly 20,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards. And the overall consensus here was that she was not a jerk.
For the most part, people thought that his actions were a certain kind of disturbing—to a degree that it has become an obsession that’s damaging everyone involved. Some suggested counseling, or at the very least everyone getting together and figuring this out.
Folks online were unanimous in saying that the wife was right here, pointing out how disturbing the whole situation is
Others had suspicions of him having a crush on the surrogate. That, or just calling the husband flat-out creepy because of his exaggerated actions.
You can check out the AITA post in its original form, or go reach other AITA posts we’ve covered right here on Bored Panda. But not before you tell us your thoughts on this in the comment section below!
The dynamics of social interactions can become a minefield when boundaries are crossed. In a similar vein to the tense confrontation in another shared experience, respecting others and their personal space is paramount.
Readers might find it worthwhile to explore a situation involving confronting disrespect in relationships, which highlights the importance of addressing such matters head-on.