When a couple gets married, they agree to stay by one another’s side for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. And those beautiful vows are meant to last for decades. But what if one partner decides that they’re no longer going to contribute financially to their household?
One woman recently reached out to Reddit to express her frustration about her husband’s current employment status. After closing his business of 20 years, he hasn’t been in any hurry to get another job. So below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman's husband was devastated when he realized that he was going to have to shut down his business
Image credits: varyapigu / envato (not the actual photo)
But now, he's refusing to find any other source of income
Image credits: klavdiyav / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Difficult-Impact-69
The vast majority of small businesses fail
After getting married, you have a lot of obligations towards your partner. But it’s assumed that you’re happy to take on those responsibilities, as you’re choosing to be with the person you love. Helping out around the house, contributing financially to the household, taking care of your partner when they’re ill and staying by their side while they cry shouldn’t ever feel like a burden.
It sounds like the husband in this story has given up on the idea of helping his wife fund their lifestyle. But the harsh reality is that his business failing shouldn’t have been an earth-shattering surprise. After all, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that over 20% of businesses fail during their first year.
Even if they manage to make it to their first anniversary, 40% of businesses fail within three years, and half have to close their doors within five years. Nearly two thirds fail within a decade, almost three quarters fail within 15 years, and nearly 80% fail within 20 years. No matter how profitable this man’s company was at one point, he should have known that that success wasn’t guaranteed to last forever.
When it comes to why so many small businesses fail, FreshBooks published a list of the most common reasons. First, lack of planning and poor choice of location can set companies up for failure. Not doing enough research is another huge mistake, as well as not having a solid business plan.
Having a poor pricing strategy, insufficient funds, cash flow problems or poor debt management can also sink a small business. It’s never a good idea to rely too heavily on one customer, and inadequate profits are a big issue. Of course, competition can also be a problem. And if there’s not enough demand in the market, a business is doomed.
It's not fair for one partner to be responsible for taking care of their entire family
Image credits: Getty Images / envato (not the actual photo)
It’s heartbreaking to have to close the doors of a business you’ve dedicated decades of your life to. But unfortunately, that’s not a valid reason to shift all of your family’s financial burden onto your partner. Having a conversation with your spouse about the fact that they need to find a job certainly won’t be easy. But Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, says it’s necessary when one partner refuses to work.
If your spouse or partner won’t get a job to contribute to the household, Dr. Jones says it’s crucial to put your own and your family’s needs first. Make sure that you have an emergency fund set aside for yourself, and ensure that your family won’t ever be without food or unable to pay the bills.
It’s also possible that your spouse may be taking advantage of you financially. If they refuse to put in any effort to resolve the issue, it might be time to consider whether or not this relationship is actually worth it. And if you’re feeling unhappy, overworked and overextended, make sure that you have a safe space where you can talk about that. You deserve to have support, especially if you’re not getting it from your partner.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you respond if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Readers assured the woman that her feelings were valid, and many noted that her husband needs to find a job ASAP
