In an ideal and theoretical world, when two people decide to couple up and create a family, they realize that both of them have to sacrifice some of their time and freedom to raise said family. Yet, in reality, most often women are the ones who are there to pick up the slack, while men's lives do not change that much, and they even brag about how much more fulfilling they get.
Just like this dude from today's story. He has it all - a family, a job, and a social life, just because his wife is there making sure he does. And then he proceeds to go out of his way to insult her about it. Sounds like a total jerk, doesn't he?
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In an ideal world, both of the parents take care of children and home in equal amount, allowing each other to have at least some freedom
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Sadly, not everyone lives in such a world; take this woman, for example, who is constantly picking up slack, allowing her husband to live a fulfilling life
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yet, instead of feeling grateful to her for doing all that she does, he feels the exact opposite
Image credits: nomadsoul1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, he thinks she's boring, as she barely ever goes out, and resents her for that
Image credits: Wowserbowser88
Needless to say, these words coming from her husband's mouth hurt the woman
For a whole week until the described incident, the OP’s husband was short with her – answering her questions shortly, being snappy, and not engaging with her at all.
Then, one night, he had a drink and finally admitted what was boiling under it all – he thinks that she is too boring for him. He proceeded to list the reasons; he said she doesn’t have that many friends and doesn’t go out often, which might mean she is simply a boring and maybe even a dreadful person.
This hurt the woman in a few ways. First of all, no one likes to hear that someone thinks they’re boring. Just like it was said on the TV show The Good Place, “ya basic” insults basically devastate a person, as they’re dubbed as unoriginal, and, well, boring. Since the OP’s husband straight-up called her that, it’s no surprise it hurt her.
But besides that, there was another layer of hurt she felt – he’s the reason why she might seem so dull. You see, they have 2 children, both of them work full time, and since his job is shift-based, she constantly has to adapt to his schedule. Not to mention the fact that most of the weekends he goes out, so she has to stay with the kids.
So, basically, he has it all – a career, family, fulfilling social life, and resents his wife for not having the same life. But the thing is, she’s the reason why he’s so fulfilled – she takes up the work “behind the scenes.”
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Sadly, she isn’t the only woman in the world suffering from such “fate.” Working moms having to pick up the slack at home is commonly viewed as “second shift motherhood” or simply a second shift of theirs. After all, taking care of home and kids isn’t an easy job – the one that many men apparently are incapable of doing, thus it counts as a second job for women.
This phenomenon is so widespread that many women tend to agree with the statement “Sometimes I feel like a married single mom,” due to being entrapped in a situation like that. The worst thing about it all is that too often, these situations lead to women feeling burnout, anxiety, and just overall having an unfulfilling life.
This story is a perfect example of this; the OP basically sacrifices her free time to grow a family, which makes her “boring.” But what can she do? It’s not like her husband is willing to give up some parts of his fulfilling life to help her become more interesting – he just resents her for it.
Netizens suggested that the woman make him do it – make plans with friends, so she could show him how “easy” it is to be “not boring” when you have to let your partner go wild. And if that won’t work… Well, maybe leaving is the next best option?
What do you think? How should the woman try to fix this situation? Share all of your ideas in the comments!
Netizens suggested that she make plans so her husband would have to stay at home; let's see if he becomes "boring" afterward
