You never know what really goes on in someone's head. You might have a clue about it, but until their actions reveal their true colors, you can't be sure. A woman under a now-deleted Reddit account made a post on the subreddit r/TrueOffMyChest, where people come to share personal experiences and get support, and it deeply resonated with the community.
In it, she explained that when using her husband’s computer, she accidentally found out he was, as she described, a two-faced liar. Turns out, he had been secretly messaging his ex-wife for years, discussing her "disgusting" appearance and habits, all while acting like everything was fine at home.
We often are our own harshest critics, picking on every flaw and mistake we’ve ever made
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But this woman learned that it was her husband who ridiculed her the most, and in ways much worse than she could've ever imagined
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Some time after sharing her story, the woman released an update, saying she followed through with her plans
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Most people do not approve of snooping, but many admit to doing it
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According to the Pew Research Center, seven-in-ten Americans – regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not – say it is rarely or never acceptable for someone to look through their partner's devices without that person’s knowledge.
Still, a third (34%) of partnered adults — that is, those who are married, cohabiting, or in a committed relationship — say they've done it, with women being more likely than men to admit it (42% vs. 25%).
"It says that you don't trust ... what your partner tells and shows you is who they really are," psychologist Ryan Howes told HuffPost about the practice, "and that [you believe] their true self is reflected in their communication and searches on their phone."
Julie Holland, a New York psychiatrist, agrees. "My advice [to patients] is always that you need to talk more with your partner and not less," she explained to CNN.
Of course, we can't get into the woman's head, and even though she said everything was fine, her gut feeling may have subconsciously sent her some warning signs. But this particular case sounds more like an accident — a brief moment of curiosity — and less like a malicious invasion of privacy.
A YouGov poll found that among US adults who have at least one ex, only 17% say they are friends with all their exes, while 37% are friends with one but not all, and 44% aren’t friends with any. Also, only 41% are comfortable with their current partner being friends with an ex, and just 22% are comfortable with their partner being best friends with an ex. However, something tells me that if the respondents were asked about their SO secretly criticizing them to a former partner, the figure would be much, much higher.
People were shocked that the woman's husband could have gone so low
