When you take a vow to stay with your partner in “sickness and in health”, of course, you expect them to stick to it and always be supportive. After all, that’s the whole point of marriage, right? Being there for each other, no matter what?
This woman, however, felt that her husband was very unsupportive and insensitive when she was telling him about her surgery that was going to happen soon. He started arguing over something completely silly, and just added to the anxiety that the original poster (OP) was facing. Here’s what she’s contemplating after this…
More info: Reddit
Everyone expects their partner to stay true to the "in sickness and in health" vow that they take
Image credits: stefamerpik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster is going to surgically remove a noncancerous lump in her breast, and has had a mammogram done
Image credits: 113crc
Image credits: myoceanstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She called her husband to tell him that the surgery had been scheduled, but instead of supporting her, he started arguing over something silly
Image credits: 113crc
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He even hung up on her out of frustration, and she was extremely hurt by his insensitive reaction when she is going through a health crisis
Image credits: 113crc
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She was contemplating whether to leave him or not, so she vented online and sought some advice, which netizens showered her with
Image credits: 113crc
Finally, she had a proper conversation with him, where he apologized, and they are now planning to pursue couples therapy
Today, we dive into a couple conflict that the poster was stuck in with her husband of over a year. She had a mammogram, which showed that the non-cancerous lump in her breast had grown, so she scheduled the surgical consultation and wanted to update her husband about it. No matter how trivial, all medical procedures induce anxiety, don’t they?
It’s natural that OP was anxious, and anyone would want their partner to comfort them during such a time. Sadly for her, the poster’s husband got into an argument about how he thought she mispronounced a word. We know it sounds ridiculous, but the man escalated the argument a lot by bringing up some mistake she made in the past and then hung up in anger.
The poster was absolutely devastated, and can you really blame her? She also vented about how he was emotionally unsupportive throughout the breast cancer scare. In fact, the guy was also absent when she did the biopsy, and she drove herself home. The woman sought advice online as she couldn’t bring herself to forgive him, and netizens were quite sympathetic.
She was doubtful whether she really wanted to be with him after his insensitive reaction, and folks also advised her to really think about it. However, she updated that they sat down, he apologized, and said it was all because he was stressed that he reacted like that. Well, she has decided to give him another chance, and the couple is going to work on themselves, with the help of couples therapy.
Netizens still advised her to be cautious, and that’s fair enough because humans tend to repeat their behavior. To gain a deeper insight into the impact such conflicts can have on couples, Bored Panda interviewed Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She stressed that such conflicts are unavoidable if a person doesn’t receive emotional support from their partner.
Image credits: yanalya / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“It’s not just about the doctor visits or surgery, it’s about knowing your partner has your back when you’re feeling scared and vulnerable. When your spouse shows up for you, it builds trust, calms your nerves, and actually brings you closer. But when they don’t, it can leave you feeling alone and make you wonder if you can really count on them long-term,” she explained.
Well, we can understand how difficult it must be for OP to handle, but it’s a good thing they talked about it. We spoke to our expert about how the poster’s husband is finding it difficult to adapt to the “us vs problem” mode instead of the “you vs me” that he does. She believes it can be resolved when they both focus on the fact that they are on the same team.
She elaborated that they should talk about the problem like it’s something outside of both, not a flaw in one of them. Prof. Lobo stressed that little shifts help a lot: like saying “we’re getting stuck here” instead of “you never listen,” or pausing to cool down before it turns into a showdown.
“Even just validating each other with a quick ‘I get why you feel that way’ can change the whole vibe. At the end of the day, it’s about asking ‘what do we both want?’ and working toward that together. Think of it less like a boxing match and more like tag-teaming the problem side by side,” she concluded.
If the couple really wants to make things work, the husband needs to step up and think about all these things. More importantly, he should also be supportive during any health crisis, no matter what. Don’t you think so, too? Also, if you were in the poster’s shoes, what would you do about it? Let us know in the comments!
Folks online said that his timing was awful, as he should've supported her instead of arguing over something that she was actually right about
