Infidelity is possibly one of the hardest things to get over in a romantic relationship. Getting past the betrayal is just the first step - rebuilding the trust will take time, commitment, and probably hours upon hours on a couples’ therapist’s couch.
For one woman, though, she’s well aware of her husband’s affairs, but has decided to keep her knowledge secret so she can continue leading the comfortable life her marriage affords her. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have future plans, though.
More info: Reddit
For most people, infidelity is a deal breaker, but for this woman, she’s happy to look past it for the sake of her kids and a comfortable life
Image credits: BETZY AROSEMENA / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She’s known about her husband’s first mistress for four years but has kept her mouth shut to avoid a scandal that could harm her kids and risk her losing custody
Image credits: Becca Tapert / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Her clueless hubby pretends to love her and the kids and, best of all, gives her unlimited access to his credit cards
Image credits: Jessica Rockowitz / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman claims she’s going to divorce her husband once her youngest kid turns 18, but until then she’s just biding her time and living the good life instead of fighting in divorce court
Image credits: Lapijadelcondado
Despite discovering her hubby has a second mistress, she’s sticking to her plan of keeping her kids close to her and her husband in the dark
OP begins her story by telling the community that about four years ago, she discovered that her husband was having an affair with a younger woman from his work. She says it’s the typical woman-sleeping-her-way-to-the-top story, except the mistress hasn’t changed position or salary since she started sleeping with her husband.
OP says she’s keeping the secret to herself because she’d rather play the clueless wife than risk having her kids’ lives disrupted by a scandal and besides, she’s not about to get bankrupted by divorce lawyers and have to move into a small apartment with her four children. She’d much rather enjoy the good life she’s accustomed to.
She goes on to say that she plans to divorce her husband once her youngest child comes of age so she doesn’t have to share custody with her hubby. OP adds that her kids will also be adults by then, so they’ll be in a better position to grasp the situation. She also thinks the mistress is not too bright because, if her husband was going to leave her, surely he would have by now.
OP continues her post by adding that she recently found out her husband has a second mistress, a bit older and smarter than the first, who seems to just be in it for the expensive gifts OP’s husband buys her. In an update to her original post, she goes on to say that she’s been saving money and feels relaxed about the bizarre situation, adding that this is the most she can do to take care of her children and stay close to them.
In her article for VeryWellMind, Sheri Stritof writes that a wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. In fact, a study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, intimate desire, and circumstance.
According to the Institute for Family Studies, men are more likely to have affairs than women and are often seeking more physical intimacy or attention. When women cheat, they're often attempting to fill an emotional void and seeking the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.
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Stritof goes on to say that, in some marriages, an affair is a cry for help, a way to force the couple to finally face the problems that both partners are aware of but aren't tackling. In this case, the partner will often actually try to get caught as a way of bringing the issue to the fore. In other instances, a partner may simply view infidelity as an exit strategy—a way to end an unhappy marriage.
Statistics tell us that 20% of men cheat on their wives at some point in their marriage. That’s a lot of heartache and upheaval, so what’s the best way to deal with being cheated on in a marriage?
According to the Bretherton Solicitors website, you have three options: stay with your husband and work through the issue, divorce your husband, or have a legal separation from your husband.
Should you decide to stay in the marriage, you may want to consider making a postnuptial agreement. This legal agreement between yourself and your spouse sets out how your assets would be divided should you later divorce.
If you decide divorce is the only option, it’s crucial to seek out legal advice sooner than later. An experienced family lawyer will be able to explain the divorce process, as well as your legal rights.
If you choose to enter into a legal separation, you and your spouse should attempt to negotiate a separation agreement with the assistance of your lawyers. This can establish how your finances will be split, giving you independence and certainty. If you later decide to divorce anyway, the separation agreement would act as the basis for a financial settlement.
It seems as though OP’s mind is made up when it comes to how she plans to end things; she’s just in for a bit of a wait. That’s if she can keep enduring her duplicitous husband’s affairs - no mean feat.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she’ll be able to keep hiding her secret from her husband? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, Redditors expressed concern for the woman’s emotional stability, while others hoped she had a grand plan for the eventual divorce
