The concept of the ‘married single mom’ is as paradoxical as it gets. Technically partnered, practically alone. There is a husband somewhere in the picture, usually at work, occasionally on a boys’ trip, but rarely actually present in the way that matters when there are two sick children, a full-time job, and approximately zero minutes of personal space left in the day.
One woman had a weekend that ticked every single box on that list and then some. Her husband came home to find her running on empty, and when she finally got a chance to step into the shower alone for the first time in days, he decided to become the ‘married absent father’ of her nightmares.
More info: Reddit
The ‘married single mom’ is one of the most common and least talked about dynamics in modern family life
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
This mother spent the entire weekend alone with two sick kids, burned through half her sick days, worked from home while managing fevers and tantrums, and didn't bother her husband with it
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
He came home after his boys' weekend, and they split some duties, and when she finally got a chance to hand off the baby and step into the shower, he offered to hold her while the car warmed up
Image credits: zinkevych / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A minute into her first solo shower in days, he appeared at the bathroom door to announce he was leaving
Image credits: freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
She had her head underwater and didn't quite make out what he said, but still just asked for 5 minutes to finish up, a request that fell on deaf ears
Image credits: Stockbusters / Magnific (not the actual photo)
She soon heard the baby crying and realized he had left the baby unattended in the playpen and jetted off to his parents' house
Image credits: lilyluminar
In their heated text exchange, he made it clear that he thought she created drama for no reason
While her husband was away at his brother's bachelor party weekend, this mother was home alone with a 1-year-old running a fever and a 4-year-old sick and throwing tantrums. She took a day off work to keep the baby home, had to pick her up early, and spent the rest of the day working from home while managing both sick children simultaneously.
She had already burned through half her sick days for the year. She tried not to bother her husband with most of it, kept him updated on the baby's fever, and described it as a genuinely terrible weekend on her own. When he came home Sunday night after both kids were in bed, she told him how awful it had been, and they moved on.
Monday evening, they split the dinner, bath, and bedtime duties, and she spent the time putting the 4-year-old to sleep while simultaneously holding the still clingy 1-year-old. Once the 4-year-old was finally down, she tried to hand the baby off so she could shower. He mentioned he needed to go to his parents’ to pick something up. She said okay, went upstairs, and started getting ready.
He came in and offered to hold the baby while the car warmed up. She handed her over gratefully and got undressed. Less than a minute into her shower, he appeared at the bathroom door to tell her he was leaving and asked if he should put the baby in the playpen.
She was brushing her teeth and showering and could not hear him properly, and she snapped and asked for five minutes. A few moments later, she heard the baby crying and realized he had put her in the playpen and left. Their text exchange was less than pleasant, and she decided to share his unsympathetic responses for all the world to see.
Image credits: lilyluminar
Image credits: lilyluminar
Image credits: lilyluminar
Image credits: lilyluminar
The numbers tell a gloomy story. A third of families report being on equal footing with parenting duties. However, 72% of mothers say they are doing more than 60% of the parenting, while only 15% of fathers say the same. Someone in that survey is doing some very creative mathematics, and it is not the mothers.
Then there is the language problem, which deserves its own conversation. When a father watches his own children, it is called babysitting. When a mother does it, it is called Tuesday. The implication embedded in that word, that a father caring for his children is performing a favor rather than fulfilling a basic parental responsibility, tells you everything you need to know about how we got here.
Research found that the average parent has approximately 32 minutes to themselves per day after accounting for work and parenting duties. This woman asked for five of them in a shower and got less than one before the playpen got deployed and the car pulled out of the driveway. She was not asking for a spa weekend. She was asking for the length of one average pop song while hot water ran over her head.
The moms (and dads with half a brain cell) read all of this and had a great deal to say about a husband who has had a ten-day tropical work trip and a bachelor party weekend, and still could not find it in himself to hold a baby for five uninterrupted minutes.
Do you think this tired mom was overreacting? Share your thoughts in the comments!
The internet was having none of it, shaming this dad to the high heavens for his careless attitude and bad parenting and partnering
