American writer and humorist Mark Twain once said, “When you’re mad, count four; when you’re very mad, swear!” Well, that’s all fine, but what about being conscious about swearing in front of your kids? We all know how quick they are with picking up things and repeating them everywhere and to everyone.
The mom in today’s story was also extremely worried that her husband’s constant swearing would rub off on her kids, so she sought advice online. Folks were so alarmed by how aggressive he was, they actually advised her to leave him immediately!
More info: Mumsnet
People swear when frustrated, but they should be conscious of it when there are kids present, as they might pick up the habit
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster's husband swears a lot even in front of their children, and she's worried that the 2-year-old toddler, who repeats everything, might pick it up
Image credits: FoxesSox
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They've had marriage problems because of it, and he changed a little after counseling but went back to swearing after a while
Image credits: FoxesSox
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the toddler threw up, he started swearing loudly for the wife to come immediately, and this made the little girl cry as she felt she had done something wrong
Image credits: FoxesSox
The wife was very hurt by this and started questioning this behavior, as it might have an impact on her daughter
This story focuses on a concerned mom, the original poster (OP), who is worried about her kids due to her husband who constantly swears. She tells us that they have 2 kids, a 6-month-old baby and a 2-year-old toddler who repeats everything that she hears people say. That’s where her concern lies, as her husband can’t stop swearing in front of the kids.
She gives us a little background that they had marriage troubles because of his swearing, and she had previously stayed at her parents' house for 2 months. However, due to counseling, she felt that he might have changed a little bit, so she moved back in with him. Result? Big mistake! The change was temporary and the man went back to his old, filthy habit.
One day, he simply took things too far when his daughter vomited on him and he reacted aggressively and started swearing loudly for OP to come down immediately. The poor child felt that she had done something wrong and started crying, and the poster felt heartbroken because of all this. The worst part was that he always blamed “work stress” for his behavior, and said that swearing was an “auto-response” for him.
OP felt that she didn’t want her children to grow up in such a negative environment, so she vented online and sought advice. After reading the post, saying that people were alarmed by the aggressive man is an understatement, for they were so horrified that they told her to leave immediately. They found his aggression more worrying than the swearing.
People felt that the man was a walking red flag who would definitely have an adverse impact on the kids. They said that the kids might think that swearing at their partner was normal when they grew up, as kids generally pick up their habits during the developing age. The children would also hesitate to make mistakes if the father reacted aggressively, which would hamper their growth.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To get expert insights, Bored Panda reached out to psychotherapist Binaifer Sahukar for an interview. She mentioned that the aggressive behavior of a parent can cause a great deal of anxiety in a child, and it can be manifested in behaviors like bed-wetting, excessive crying, clingy behavior, or acting out in class.
“It can also generate a lot of anger which can spill over into adulthood, which will then have repercussions. It can also lead to manipulative behavior because there are a million ways in which the child will go behind your back and do sneaky stuff to avoid the angry outburst,” she added.
Folks online expressed their sympathies towards the poster as they felt that his constant aggression might not be good for her either. Binaifer also explained that when a partner has constant outbursts of anger, the other person might just check out completely, look for love outside of the marriage, or start lashing out.
She said that even a calm person can also start lashing out, and fighting fire with fire is really no good. She also emphasized that in most cases of infidelity, people justify it because of their partner’s anger or disrespect towards them. They start looking for this respect in their affair partner as they feel that this other person will listen to them.
Netizens also argued that the husband was very fickle to have used work stress as an excuse for his behavior, as they found it unacceptable. When it came to his swearing, people said that he should be conscious about it when he was in front of his kids.
“If swearing is part of the ‘hahaha, we're joking culture,’ it can become second nature. It's difficult to break this habit but it's not impossible. A person could apologize if it slips out, replace it with something else, check themselves before saying it, or correct their course to bring themselves out of this habit,” advised Binaifer.
Now that you are familiar with the story and have also heard the wise words from our expert, what do you make of it? Feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below!
Folks were more alarmed by his aggressive behavior rather than the swearing, and they told the poster to leave him immediately
