When I was a kid, when people asked me what I wanted to be, I said that I wanted to be an astronaut. Of course, I was not destined to get to NASA, but you must admit that finding a decent job and earning good money to provide for your family is no less important than flying into space.
The story we are going to tell you today, from the user u/Wise-Raisin-791, clearly shows us that family and kids are not always the big motivation for people in search of - not even a job - their career path. However, let's take everything in order here.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a 21YO new mom, who is married to a 26YO man
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The main problem in their family, according to the author, is that her spouse is actually a job-hopper
Image credits: Wise-Raisin-791
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The guy dropped out of college, then attempted plenty of jobs - and they kept living in the RV meanwhile
Image credits: Wise-Raisin-791
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The main source of income for their family, as the author says, is $800 per month that the FIL keeps giving to his son
Image credits: Wise-Raisin-791
So the woman ended up issuing an ultimatum to her spouse - he has to find a stable job within 180 days - otherwise she files for divorce
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she is now 21 years old and she is married to a 26-year-old guy who still has not found a stable job, let alone a field in which he wants to work and develop his skills. And even the birth of a child has not changed anything in this situation.
Initially, when their relationship started, the guy was a college student, but dropped out - and since then has changed professional directions several times. From a baseball coach to a wedding inspector, from a writer (selling his own books on Amazon) to a student again. And each time he quit his chosen business without making any big progress.
Our heroine was incredibly upset because she had a difficult pregnancy, and now she is trying to find a job at the same time as raising a baby while they still live in their RV, which is parked in the backyard of her FIL's house. And the main source of their family income remains $800 per month, which FIL still keeps giving to his adult son.
The author has repeatedly tried to persuade her spouse to find something more or less stable - but he got offended every time and said that she didn’t believe in him. It got to the point that the OP left him and gave an ultimatum - if he doesn’t find a decent job within the next six months, she will file for divorce. And now the author is also tormented by remorse - how reasonably did she act?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, I'm not sure that this ultimatum will actually work," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "If by the age of 26 this woman's husband can't decide what he wants to do and prefers to have money from his father as his main income, this may indicate a certain emotional immaturity."
"It is quite possible that he himself doesn’t know what he wants, and the family, the child seem to him only a burden in this never-ending search. Moreover, based on the words of this woman, he constantly doesn’t bring anything to completion, simply switching to another area of activity, getting carried away by something new."
"Perhaps this is just a period of hyperfixation - but only an expert can actually determine this after direct communication. Be that as it may, he has had enough time to find a decent job - and blaming his wife for not supporting him enough is simply disrespectful. So this woman most likely did the right thing," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also unanimously sided with the OP, claiming that she did the right thing, and absolutely not believing that her husband will change. The most important thing, according to people, for the author is simply to provide herself and her daughter with a decent life here and now, and everything else is secondary. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this opinion?
People in the comments sided with the author, but questioned whether her husband could actually change
