Creating a successful open relationship requires impeccable communication, trust, and clear boundaries. If at least one of these elements is missing, an attempt to do so might seriously damage the couple's bond instead. A lesson that Reddit user Odd_Prize5434, unfortunately, knows all too well.
In a post on r/TrueOffMyChest, the woman explained that her partner had convinced her to open up their marriage but changed his mind after she started "seeing someone," and left her feeling like she was responsible for the whole mess that they'd gotten themselves into.
It's difficult to navigate your relationship when you and your partner want different things
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
This woman tried to give her husband what he asked for, but that may have proved to be too much for them to handle
Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)
After her post went viral, the woman clarified a few important things
Image credits: Odd_Prize5434
In an open relationship, where expectations aren't so straightforward, people need to be extra conscious about what they're negotiating with their partner
Image credits: Enq 1998 (not the actual photo)
In recent years, non-monogamous arrangements have become increasingly mainstream. For example, about one in four adult Americans are interested in having an open relationship, according to a 2021 YouGov poll of 23,000 people.
Avital Isaacs, a therapist at Manhattan Alternative Wellness Collective, thinks that in some cases, opening up a relationship can actually strengthen it.
"In a monogamous relationship, there is a typified kind of foreclosure," she said. "The relationship is defined by what you don't do and it can feel like a real reduction of self. There is less that you are actively doing with your partner."
Non-monogamy allows people to explore more experiences and can also help remind someone that their partner is desirable. "Seeing them go on dates with other people may inspire a sense of wanting to earn this person's love and care," Isaacs said. "For some people, that's a big motivator, instead of taking each other for granted."
Clear and sincere communication is a cornerstone of every relationship. But in an open one, where expectations are even less clear, people need to be extra conscious about what they're negotiating with their partner, something that Odd_Prize5434's husband may have failed to understand.
Image credits: Charlie Foster (not the actual photo)
"When you're in a monogamous relationship, you're doing the framework provided for you based on our society and culture," Isaacs continued. "We prioritize and understand romantic relationships to be exclusive. If you're in an open relationship, our cultural structures and systems are not designed for you."
As we've seen in the Reddit story, that can put you in uncharted waters.
When you're bucking societal norms and creating a more unique dynamic between you and your partner, you have to be very specific about the parameters of your relationship.
According to a study from 2020, people are just as happy in consensual non-monogamous relationships as they are in regular ones. However, it sounds like this particular couple may have not been ready for it.
People have had a lot of strong reactions to the whole ordeal
Later, the woman came back with an update
