When planning the wedding and the honeymoon, people usually hope to only have one of each in their lifetimes. So it’s no surprise that they want both events to be special and usually focused on the happy couple.
While it’s not uncommon for couples to celebrate their love surrounded by friends and family on their wedding day, the honeymoon tends to be a little more intimate. That’s why this redditor wasn’t too happy when her husband suggested that they invite their friends to join their honeymoon. And even though she wasn’t fond of the idea, the husband invited them nevertheless. Scroll down to find the full story below.
This woman’s husband invited friends to join their honeymoon against her wishes
Image credits: Dmitry Schemelev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
AITA for telling my husband he ruined our honeymoon?
"So, my husband and I just got back from our honeymoon, and honestly, I’ve been holding onto a lot of frustration since we returned.
We had both been so excited about it because it was our first big trip together as a married couple. It was supposed to be a romantic, once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it turned out to be anything but that for me.
A few weeks before the wedding, my husband started talking about how it would be "fun" if we invited his best friend and his wife to join us for part of the honeymoon.
I immediately told him that I wasn’t comfortable with the idea because I wanted this trip to be about us, but he kept bringing it up, saying it would make the trip “more exciting” and less “boring.”
Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
I stuck to my guns and thought I had made it clear that it wasn’t happening.
Well, we arrive at our destination, and to my shock, his best friend and wife are waiting at the hotel lobby. My husband had secretly invited them anyway, saying it would be “no big deal” and that we could still have our alone time.
But the entire trip turned into group dinners, shared activities, and zero intimacy. I barely got any time with just him, and when I brought it up, he acted like I was overreacting.
He said we could go on a "private vacation" another time, and that I should be grateful we got to travel at all.
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / pexels (not the actual photo)
When we got home, I told him he ruined what was supposed to be our special honeymoon. He just shrugged and said I was making it a bigger deal than it was, and that "we'll have plenty of other trips."
I can't shake the disappointment, though, and he still doesn't seem to get why I'm upset.
AITA for feeling like my honeymoon was ruined and telling him so?"
Credits: Due-Ad5669
Nowadays, honeymooning is a romantic tradition, despite its surprisingly grim origins
There’s arguably no wrong way to honeymoon – as long as both newlyweds are happy with the arrangement, it can comprise whatever they want. That entails however many people they want to spend it with, though traditionally, the honeymoon is spent by the happy couple alone, enjoying each other’s company and relishing the excitement of starting their life as spouses.
Though the origins of the tradition are far less romantic. Delving deeper into the very beginning of honeymooning, BRIDES magazine revealed that it dates back to the 5th century and refers to “marriage by capture” – the custom of men kidnapping their brides seeking to impregnate them. That’s also where the name comes from, as people would reportedly give the couple a month’s—a moon cycle’s—worth of fermented honey (which was believed to improve the likelihood of conception); hence, the word honeymoon.
Thankfully, the dark traditions of medieval times are long gone, and today, a honeymoon usually means a romantic getaway with your spouse. But that, too, might change in the future, as more and more people seem to show interest in spending their honeymoon in a larger group than just the company of their partner.
Going on a buddymoon is not something that works for everyone
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Spending the postnuptial period in a larger group than just with your partner seems to become increasingly popular; nowadays, such an arrangement even has its own name – “buddymooning”. The Executive Director of the Destination Wedding & Honeymoon Specialists Association (DWHSA), John Hawks, estimates that nowadays, roughly 10%-15% of honeymoon couples want to invite other people along. “Not only are more couples living together before getting married, younger couples – Gen Zers in particular – have grown up travelling in groups with their friends, so it just seems natural to them to invite them along on honeymoons, too,” he told Travel Week.
But according to Hawks, going on a buddymoon might not be the right choice for everyone, as it depends on what the couple’s goals for the trip are. The expert suggested that if they want to escape after the wedding to enjoy each other’s company before going back to routine life, inviting a group of people to tag along might not be a good idea. However, if they view the period after the wedding as an extension of the celebration—especially if they have already been living together or have traveled a lot as a couple—it can be a case of “the more the merrier”.
Judging from the OP’s account, it didn’t seem like the latter was what she wanted. And she let her husband know. However, he didn’t pay much attention to his wife’s wishes and invited their friends to join nevertheless. Not only that, he said that she was overreacting and that she should be grateful they got to travel in the first place. That was enough for fellow netizens to vote that she was not the jerk in the situation and even criticize the husband, which some redditors in the comments did.
Netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, they didn’t think the woman was being a jerk to her husband
