Parenting was never meant to be a one-person job. Raising a kid works best when parents tackle childcare as a team and have each other’s backs, especially in the early years, when sleep and sanity come at a premium.
One woman turned to an online community to rant about how her hubby didn’t feed their baby for the umpteenth time. But when readers started chiming in, things got interesting and led the woman and her husband down a path of shocking discovery.
More info: Reddit
Parenting works best when both partners chip in and help out, especially when a baby is involved
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One young mom juggling childcare, housework, and a job finally burned out, so she asked her husband if he could feed their baby once a night so she could sleep
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This all proved to be too much for her husband to handle, because he’d wake her up during feeding, and sometimes just fall back asleep altogether
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At her wits’ end, the woman turned to an online community to vent about her lazy husband and his flakiness when it came to doing just this one simple thing right
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When she finally confronted him about the issues, he said he honestly didn’t know why he kept falling back asleep before feeding was through
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At the advice of many of her readers, the exhausted mom started looking into sleep apnea, and many of the symptoms seemed to fit her husband to a tee
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After a virtual appointment with a sleep specialist, the woman and her constantly drowsy husband agreed that he would see a doctor in person
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While upset with her husband for not being completely honest about all his sleep issues, the woman still thanked the readers for their relationship-saving advice
Parenting is exhausting, but for the original poster (OP), it became unbearable when her husband kept falling asleep during baby duty. The 23-year-old mom works nights while caring for their infant all day, while her 25-year-old husband is supposed to handle at least one night feeding. Instead, he often drifts off mid-task, leaving her awake and frustrated.
She explained that he sometimes wakes the baby, hands him over, and then falls back asleep while the bottle warms. OP says she has no idea how he just falls asleep while his own child is hungry. Despite clear communication and multiple talks, he kept slipping up, and she was running on fumes from constant caregiving.
After one particularly rough night, OP confronted him again. When she asked about his sleep habits, he sheepishly confessed to gasping for air, waking up drenched in sweat, taking “micro naps” at work, and struggling to stay awake while driving. OP’s readers suggested he might have sleep apnea.
After a virtual appointment, a doctor immediately recommended a sleep study, suspecting severe sleep apnea. OP’s husband will soon undergo testing (either at home or in a clinic) to confirm the diagnosis, although he’s not thrilled about it.
For now, the couple has agreed to reduce her work hours and adjust their nighttime routine until he gets treatment. OP’s still frustrated, but relieved to finally have answers. What started as a fight about baby bottles turned into something far bigger, and possibly lifesaving. Definitely relationship-saving, by the sounds of it.
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Here's the thing: we all need our sleep. And honestly? You can't blame OP for being frustrated with her husband. New parents have it the absolute worst when it comes to getting decent shut-eye. But just how badly does sleep deprivation mess with them? And how serious is sleep apnea, really? We went looking for answers.
The folks over at The Sleep Foundation explain that, between nighttime wakings, feedings, and the stress of having a child, falling or staying asleep can be difficult for new parents. A few consequences of sleep deprivation they should be aware of include irritability, anxiety, depression, and an increased risk of accidents. Not exactly a fun time.
The experts at Cleveland Clinic say sleep apnea is a condition that makes you stop breathing while you’re sleeping, either because of blockage of your airway (obstructive sleep apnea) or because your brain doesn’t control your breathing as expected (central sleep apnea). Sounds a lot like someone OP cuddles up with at night, right?
One study figured out that about 1 billion people (between the ages of 30 and 69) around the world have obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), and while central sleep apnea is less common than OSA, it’s not a rare condition. Different treatment options include a breathing device, wearing a mouthpiece to keep your airway open, and managing any underlying conditions that cause or increase your risk of sleep apnea.
Let's hope OP's husband can get himself checked out and treated sooner rather than later. After all, he needs to be pulling his weight during those brutal nighttime shifts, too. What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts in the comments!
