Having separate budgets in a family has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, there's virtually no risk of one spouse usurping shared finances. On the other hand, when you split all bills 50/50 or any other way, another problem can arise. This has to do with how you spend the money you have left.
For example, the heroine of our story today, the user Loopylampshade, feels that the situation she and her husband are in is pretty much unfair. After all, with separate budgets, the wife is mostly investing in their house reno, while the husband prefers to spend money on his own hobby.
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Having separate budgets in a family sometimes looks like a smart decision, but it also happens that it could be unfair for one of the spouses
Image credits: lazy_bear / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post and her husband both have decent jobs and split the bills 50/50 - but the woman considers the situation quite unfair by any measure
Image credits: Loopylampshade
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The problem is that the woman spends her free time and money on their home reno, while the man prefers investing in his hobby - rock climbing
Image credits: Loopylampshade
Image credits: defstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author considers it's around $13K per year and believes that at least part of this money could actually help her with refurbishing their home
Image credits: Loopylampshade
However, the husband never agreed to invest money in their joint savings and even got miffed over her hints each time
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband live in their own house, both earning a good income (although the husband earns more), but what upsets her is that the husband doesn't seem to be paying any attention to any home improvements. Neither personally nor financially, if you know what I mean.
No, the house is in decent condition, but our heroine believes it needs refurbishing to become a cozy family nest. So that's exactly what she's been doing for the past few years. Sometimes she hires professionals, sometimes she does it herself. Meanwhile, the man, it seems, would be perfectly happy simply living in a white box room, devoting all his resources to his hobby.
Our heroine's husband is very fond of rock climbing, spending approximately £10,000 a year (around $13.5K) on this hobby. They have separate budgets and split the bills 50/50, but the original poster believes it would be fairer if her husband also contributed to the renovation of their shared home.
Because, in other words, she's investing in their joint savings, while he prefers to spend money on himself and what he enjoys. She's brought this up with her spouse several times, but he always either evades the answer or simply gets miffed and disagrees with her. So the author decided to ask netizens for some kind of advice.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Yes, on the one hand, this doesn't seem entirely fair, since, for example, in the case of a probable divorce, it would appear that the wife invested her own money in a house, which would be divided between the spouses as marital property, while the money the husband spent on rock climbing would definitely not be divided.
On the other hand, if we view the wife's activities as her own hobby (yes, many people simply enjoy doing their own home renos - my wife, for example, is one of those people), then we see it from another angle: the woman is simply investing her money in her own hobby, and the husband in his. Seems fair enough now, doesn’t it?
However, the OP herself admitted that her husband would prefer a new build rather than constantly living in a renovation. Some readers also noted this, urging the author to face the truth and admit to herself that she simply enjoys doing house renos and that it's her hobby. "I'm not surprised he's miffed," one of the responders wrote in the comments.
However, many commenters rightly noted that it would be fairer to split the bills not equally, but proportionally, based on the spouses' incomes. This would put them on an equal footing in terms of the "free" money they have left after mandatory payments. By the way, what do you, our dear readers, think about this case? Please feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments were very divided here, because the home reno could be considered the author's hobby too, but they could also split the bills proportionally to their salaries
