A spouse is supposed to be your other half, someone you intend to grow old with. And for that marriage to last, you must be able to trust that person with your life, among many other things.
That trust dissipated for this couple one night when the husband pranked his wife by jokingly dangling her from a parking garage from a few floors above the ground. When the woman didn’t take his antics kindly, he tried to turn the tables by faulting her for ruining their evening.
Despite being in grave danger, the woman still wondered if she was out of line for canceling their date plans after what happened.
You must be able to trust your spouse with your life
Image credits: Haberdoedas / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman, however, felt her life had been threatened thanks to her husband’s “prank”
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But instead of showing remorse, he called her out for ruining their date night
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Domestic abuse carries profound psychological effects
Domestic abuse is commonly linked with physical violence. However, other actions that put the other person in danger also fall under this category.
The United Nations’ definition includes behaviors “that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, and manipulate” the spouse. As for what the woman went through based on her story, legal experts officially refer to it as cruel and barbarous treatment.
It is generally defined as the act of endangering a spouse’s life or health. In most jurisdictions, it is a ground for divorce.
Such traumatic experiences often lead to long-term mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. As noted by the US Office on Women’s Health, the abused may also experience shutting other people out, trust issues, and substance use problems.
The effects of domestic abuse may also affect the person’s ability to socialize. According to a 2022 study published in the National Library of Medicine, the controlling behavior they experienced from abusive partners may cause feelings of hopelessness and isolation. This makes it difficult for the abused to seek and access support services.
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It will take a long while for an abusive partner to change, and an exit may be necessary
Based on her story, the woman’s husband showed abusive, manipulative behavior by trying to pin the blame on her and downplaying it as a “joke.” His actions could’ve led to a much worse outcome, yet he sees nothing gravely wrong with what he did.
According to author and psychologist Dr. Jeanne Segal, hoping an abusive partner will change isn’t going to be quick and easy. Worse, the abuse will likely continue.
In an article for HelpGuide.org, Dr. Segal stated that there is no guarantee for change even if the partner is in counseling or promises to stop. The next best move would be to plan for an exit.
In doing so, safety planning is necessary. Dr. Segal advises knowing the abuser’s red flags and coming up with several reasons to leave without triggering their anger. Establishing code words can also help notify friends or neighbors about potential danger.
The author likely lost trust in her husband due to his actions, and he showed no remorse whatsoever. A similar situation may happen again in the future, and she may not be as lucky. She may need to reevaluate her marriage and consider seeking professional help if necessary.
Most people sided with the woman, with some urging her to run away
