"She Thinks I Chose Business Class Over Her": Wife Is Upset After Husband Upgrades Only His Ticket For Their 12-Hour Flight

Upgrading your ticket to a better seat can make your flight far more comfortable. So it makes sense that many people would take a free bump up to business class every chance they get. Yet, some grab this opportunity so fast, they don’t even think how their fellow travelers might feel about it.

A while ago, a man turned to the moral philosophers of Reddit, otherwise known as the AITA community, to ask whether he was in the wrong about his recent travel decision. The author shared that while booking a flight to the US for him and his wife, he had an option to get a better seat using miles. However, that didn’t include his wife.

While the woman wanted to be with her husband during the long trip, he didn’t see what the big deal was. "She thinks I chose business class over her and that’s rude apparently," the user wrote. Make sure to read the whole story below and tell us what you think about it in the comments.

To find out what an expert had to say about this situation, we reached out to Sundy Gilchrist, a relationship coach based in the UK. "I wonder if, in hindsight, this husband regrets his lack of thought and consideration towards his wife?" Well, the husband already labeled himself as a jerk in the update, "so in some ways, I do believe he’s learning some valuable lessons from his unconsidered choice here. Let’s hope so, anyway," she told Bored Panda.

"His lack of communication on his intentions ... indicate that he may just not have thought this through and that his wife might have an issue with this. Then, he compounded the problem by treating her more like a colleague, rather than the one he’s chosen to invest his love, care, time, and affection in."

The relationship coach believes that thoughtlessness, rather than intention, caused the wife to feel upset. "He didn’t check it out with her, didn’t think of her wants and preferences, or ask what they were," she explained.

While incidents like these can leave immense gaps in the relationship, "cleaning up a mistake and making amends can go a long way. So long as his wife doesn’t hold a grudge and can fully move on, and he recognizes his unconsidered choices and actions." Then, after apologizing, he should forgive himself for not knowing any better and make sure to avoid the same mistakes in the future, Gilchrist said.

Of course, the wife could have chosen not to be affected by this situation, but "the fact that she did indicates the level of importance of the relationship. A lot of it is about perception; hers in this case." When a person is upset, it shows that they are missing something. "Saying what doesn’t work and what you want instead is a healthy way of negotiation and a resolution of differences and upsets."

"His wife, I’m trusting that she can let it go, and when things go wrong, she speaks up and asks for what she wants instead, and does not assume that he knows what she does and doesn’t want."

Gilchrist senses that the husband’s awareness about himself "ramped up a notch or two, and that has to be a great thing. Thinking of the other's feelings, speaking of his intentions, and asking if that works for her too would be great things for him to practice working on."

If you find yourself in a similar situation, Gilchrist wants you to remember that we all make mistakes — that’s how we learn. "In young or new relationships, it’s great to have the skills to be able to speak of what’s not working and what you want instead." However, one troubling thing could be "the upsetting feelings that can (and do) get in the way."

"Learning to manage these feelings, speaking of boundaries and limits when needed, and asking for what you want instead will assist relationships to grow in a healthy way. Resentment indicates you’re not doing that, and passive-aggressive behaviors can then leak out," she concluded.