Being a new parent is a joyful yet exhausting experience. Along with the pleasure of watching the baby grow, there’s the other side with disturbed sleep, tons of responsibilities, and most importantly, compromises. Because adjusting to the needs of the baby comes before everything else.
But these compromises should be made by both parents so that one is not burdened by everything. That’s what Reddit user purpley5 was asking for when she told her husband to quit his early workout sessions during vacation as they were waking up their toddler at 5 am, leaving him cranky all day.
More info: Reddit
Parents of a newborn go on a vacation with family where the husband wakes up at 5 am for his regular workout with his brother
Image credits: cookie_studio (not the actual photo)
But his 16-month-old son also wakes up early because they are sharing the same bed, and the baby gets cranky due to disturbed sleep, leaving the poster to deal with him
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
After four days of this happening, the wife put her foot down and told her husband to stop waking up early for his workout
Image credits: purpley5
They argued about this, and while he reluctantly agreed with her, his brother was unhappy as they could no longer work out together
As you already know, this is a story about the parents of a newborn and the test of compromise that they faced. Let’s dive right into it. It all began when the new parents went on a two-week vacation with their family. The original poster’s (OP) husband had a habit of waking up early for his daily workout and he continued to do so even during the vacation.
He and his brother would wake up at 5 am daily for an early workout sesh so they could spend time with their family during the day. But the thing is, OP’s 16-month-old toddler was also sleeping in the same bed as her and her husband because he couldn’t sleep otherwise. It might have been because of the new environment that the baby couldn’t adjust to quickly, so sleeping with parents was the only option.
However, babies being babies, the newborn ended up waking up every morning when the dad did, in turn, waking up the poster, too. And just like any baby, their son would be in a bad mood and cranky all day because of being woken up so early at 5 am. After four days of this, OP finally put her foot down and told her husband that he had to stop waking up early for the remaining days of the vacation.
As per Cleveland Clinic, “It’s necessary for your baby to sleep a lot because they’re quickly growing and developing. They need the sleep to support all aspects of their physical and mental health.” Looks like waking up early is harmful to a baby, so maybe the poster was right to take action against it.
The man said that he would be more careful and not wake up the toddler. But the poster replied that as soon as he left the bed, the baby woke up instantly, so he just had to stop. Well, after a bit of arguing, he finally complied and agreed to stop waking up early. Apart from the man, his brother was also unhappy about this as they wanted to work out together.
So, probably feeling confused, the new mom went online and asked Redditors whether she was in the wrong for asking her husband to stop waking up early. And the people online had a lot to say about this matter!
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Most of them sided with the wife, stating that she was not in the wrong for asking him to make a compromise for the sake of their son. They were worried that the daily disturbance of a toddler’s sleep cycle was not a good thing as it would hamper the physical and mental health of their son and he might face problems during his developing age.
To get expert insights, Bored Panda reached out to Gazala Khan, a trainee counselor at Silverline Counselling. She said, “The curious mind of a toddler remains active throughout the day and thus needs a resting sleep of at least 11 to 16 hours. A consistent sleep routine is essential for the overall mental and physical development. A disrupted sleep cycle does not only make them cranky but also impacts their attention span, energy levels, learning abilities, memory, and behavior.”
So, it seems highly crucial that the toddler get appropriate sleep for his well-being. Folks also pointed out that the husband went for his workout, leaving the mother to deal with the moody kid. They said that he was shirking his paternal duties to enjoy the vacation while expecting the mother to bear the brunt of a cranky kid and ruining her vacation.
“When one parent is burdened with the duties of a toddler, with an absence of their partner, leaving them alone in the struggle, it can affect the relationship between the partners and instead of enjoying parenthood they may start seeing it as a burden,” says Gazala. So, just expecting the mother to take care of the kid and leaving his fatherly duties is not the solution, as Redditors pointed out.
They also stressed that compromise should be made by both parents. According to Gazala, “In case the new parents decide not to make compromises, it will lay a shaky foundation for their future family dynamics. Not prioritizing the child and not accepting equal parental responsibilities detriments the relationship between two individuals.”
“The emotional connection between the toddler and the parents suffers as even a toddler can sense a lack of attention and neglect from its caretakers. Such issues often grow into complex mental health concerns in later stages of the child's life.”
People also tried to sympathize with the father and his daily routine, but they advised him to either change the workout time or sleep on the couch or with his brother. They also pointed out that it was not the brother’s place to be unhappy about this as the issue was between the couple. Now that was from the netizens, but we want to hear from you, so just scroll down and leave your thoughts in the comments!
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
When she sought advice online, netizens told the woman that her husband was in the wrong for ruining the baby's sleep as it could adversely impact his health
Image credits: tawatchai07 (not the actual photo)
