A wedding and kids are not always well-combined concepts, although children for the most part are an integral consequence of a wedding. However, an unruly kid can literally ruin any holiday, a wedding is something that is remembered forever, and the newlyweds reasonably want everything to go without incidents.
So many newlyweds really plan child-free weddings nowadays, and in fact there's nothing scary or strange about it. It seems much stranger when one of your relatives, faced with this rule, begins to try by hook or by crook persuade you to make an exception for them. As, for example, recently happened to the user u/Ok_Cherry1650, the author of our story today.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is going to marry soon and she decided it will be a child-free wedding
Image credits: Joel Santos (not the actual photo)
The newlyweds made a decision that kids under 13 should stay at home and all the guests accepted this rule
Image credits: Ok_Cherry1650
The only one who was clearly unhappy was the bride's brother, who has two 5-year-old twin daughters
Image credits: Studio Negarin (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Cherry1650
The man tried to let his daughters attend the wedding by hook or by crook, but the author was adamant
Image credits: Taha Samet Arslan (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Cherry1650
The woman even called the brother a hypocrite because his own wedding was child-free too
The Original Poster (OP) tells us that she is planning to get married soon, and she and her fiance have planned a child-free wedding. That is, children 13 years and older can attend, but those younger will have to stay home. It's not that the OP doesn't like kids - she's just pretty sure that a wedding is a rather tiring and boring event for them.
Some of the guests and numerous relatives with little kids managed to organize childcare for this day and RSVP'd Yes, some of them couldn't and RSVP'd No - a pretty common thing, actually. Among the dissatisfied was the bride's elder brother, "Josh."
Josh has two 5-year-old twin girls and is trying his best to convince his sister to let them attend the ceremony. For example, as the flower girls. However, the author remains adamant - even when her brother has begun to make snide comments about her during various family gatherings. Like if his kids aren't invited, then he'll not show up either.
When the brother and sister were talking privately recently, he again brought up the issue of his daughters at the wedding, and the OP directly stated that he was a hypocrite - simply because his own wedding was also child-free. Although the OP and Josh have five more siblings, and at the time of that wedding, some of them already had kids of their own.
In response to this, the guy objected that yes, several years ago he really held such views, however, after becoming a father himself, he flip-flopped. According to the original poster, this is nothing more than hypocrisy.
The bride-to-be's parents also sided with Josh. For example, the author's father and his new wife stated that if Josh doesn't come to the wedding, then they won't come either. However, the OP already has a rocky relationship with her dad, so she said that this is his personal matter. But when her mom spoke out in support of Josh, then the woman seriously wondered if she was doing the right thing, and if it would perhaps be easier to give in to her bro’s demands.
Image credits: Photography Maghradze PH (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, this situation really looks like double standards if you look at the actions of the bride’s brother,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "Anyway, it's her wedding and she makes the rules. Just like her brother made the rules at his own ceremony."
“Yes, it's quite possible that after he became a parent, the man changed his outlook on life, but this is not a reason to consider himself better than others and expect that an exception will be made for him. Moreover, the brother most likely tried to enlist support from parents and other relatives, presenting himself as a victim of circumstances - and this also doesn't look very nice. In the end, rules are rules - and it's the newlyweds who set them," Irina summarizes.
In fact, the presence or absence of children at a wedding very often becomes a real stumbling block for many relatives and guests. So many commenters on the original post fully agree with the author’s decision to limit the age of guests to 13 years. "Don't bend the rules for him. Dude's throwing a temper tantrum because he's not getting his way. Probably not the first time," someone wrote in the comments.
As for the bride's parents, in the end, according to some readers, these are adults who make their own decisions. Just like her brother as well. "Please don't listen to their threats. If they show up, great, if they don't, that's fine, too," another commenter added wisely. "You will know where you stand with them and you can choose to limit or cut contact, if you want." Sounds quite reasonable, doesn't it?
Well, a wedding, as we have noted more than once, is almost always an arena for a wide variety of weird deeds and absurd situations, which you can always read about in this collection of ours. In the meantime, please feel free to express your opinions on this particular tale in the comments as well.
People in the comments supported the bride-to-be, claiming her brother was actually a hypocrite, so she did the right thing
