I can remember dealing with depression from a very young age. The first time I seriously thought about suicide, I was only 13 years old. This pattern continued as I was eventually diagnosed with severe depression and social anxiety. There were times that I sunk so deep that I didn't know how I would ever learn to be functional let alone happy.
I tried a plethora of medications, antidepressants, anti anxiety, antipsychotics and battled the side-effects. I was in a numb fog for years and I thought that would be as good as it gets for me. I went to India in 2013 and was inspired by the architecture of ancient temples I visited. While there, I started what I later discovered was the first of many mandalas.
The mandalas provided a reprieve from the constant flow of negativity, they lifted me out of the tension and let me find my breath. I did these mandalas on paper, skulls, ostrich eggs, wood, and walls. Eventually, I stopped the parade of medications and explored meditation in more depth. I never thought I would have tool that incurred no physical side effects.
I still journey with depression but I have a method, a practice that keeps me grounded. My mandalas transform my thought patterns and give me the peace that I desired for so long.
More info: essenceofash.com
