After reading the exciting exposition about how to get better at the fine art of Small Talk, I felt the need to describe how amazing my experiences have been so far, hoping that, through my comments you, YES YOU, MY OVERLY SHY FRIEND, might as well cross your limitations and grow.
It’s also relevant to mention that each tip was experimented with a different person/subject, to see the value of each lesson in a different context. Well. Without further ado, let’s begin. P.S. (This post does not intend to be offensive to anyone, except maybe Bob, cause his an a**hole, but since it might hurt those with weak feelings, I ask for forgiveness in advance.)
Experiencing Small Talks
1) First subject and tip: I tried to keep eye contact with the first subject by staring directly into the subject's soul and not blinking. Not quite sure why the police officers were called or why did I was dub as a freak, but anyway, that was only the first try.
2) Second subject and tip: After finding the newest subject in a local pub, instead of the overly used question: “Do you come here often?” I asked politely and with a slightly serious tone: “Do the daily consumption of large quantities of alcohol constitute a habit of yours?”. I’m still intrigued what does the expression “I got to get back to the A.A.” while crying and running away from the pub, means, but at least this one had the decency of replying to my comment.
3) Third subject and tip: I confess I thought this one was a little tricky, but I guess is because my English is not all that perfect. I understood that I had to ask about the Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams, but the only meaning I could find for the word FORD was related to Harrison Ford, which stopped me from having any dialogue on the basis that I know little about Harrison Ford’s Family, Recreation and Dreams.
4) Fourth subject and tip: Man, this probably was the best so far, since someone actually went and talked to me for a few minutes. Eventually they left with a strange look on their faces. Seems like just standing there silently listening and staring makes the other person feel uncomfortable. Well, lesson learned.
5) Fifth subject and tip: As stated before, my English is not all that good, so rephrasing what the other person said could prove to be a little difficult, reason why I decided to just repeat exactly what I heard, which ended up to me being called a “jerk” and “infantile”, for reasons I still cannot grasp.
6) Sixth subject and tip: This one ended up quite fast, actually. Since I'm not sure what does the word “slightly” means, I just took the lean over part and went into practice while trying to chat with a girl in the subway. Once again the cops were called and I had to lay rest for my attempts on that day.
Well, that was all the progress I was able to do so far. I’m going to keep on trying since, you know, “practice makes perfect”. Or at least, I’m going to go back on trying as soon as I’m allowed to leave prison, because of the incident in the sixth tip. I’ll be sure to keep on describing my adventures. Thank you all.
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