I spent the whole of Spring successfully avoiding stepping out of the house and meeting people. Instead I sat at home drawing a series illustrating how it feels to be be out-of-place, anxious, and awkward in a gathering.
At any giving event involving more than three people, I looks for benches to crawl under, or curtains to hide behind. And every time it goes down in the same way- drenched in uneasiness, sweat and silent tears.
I sincerely hope my fellow shy-bees are better at this. Keeping a virtual ear out for tips. Thanks!
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#1 Intro
Every introvert can probably write 101 tips on how to avoid social situations. Held up at work, doctor's appointment, out of town, baby-sitting, dog-sitting, plant-sitting, have a lot of things to do...just the usual. But when I do finally end up being in room full of people, I don't have the slightest clue what to do with myself.
#2 The Arrival
I arrive at any gathering with unparalleled optimism, which I gulp down with the first bottle of soda. It probably takes me ten more minutes before I can drag the definition of wallflower to a whole new level.
#3 The Anxiety
I easily can spot five people who I know from Instagram. I know how they woke up, and what they ate for breakfast. What if one of them wants to actually talk to me? My heart rate could positively shatter an ECG at the thought itself.
#4 The First Move
A nice stranger sometimes dares to make the first move, overlooking the obvious awkwardness written all over my face. My small talk contains a cross between squinting for answers and endless batting of eyelashes. Sorry, nice stranger.
#5 The Restlessness
When I get introduced to a stranger and the mutual friend gets distracted by a fresh round of incoming snacks, only to never come back. This is what my nightmares are made up. All I can do is to nervously tap my feet and wait for a messiah to sweep the stranger away.
#6 Sharing An Expression
The combination of being introverted and having strong opinions can be detrimental to your own well-being. More often than not, I end up striking all great arguments in my head. Obviously, fearing what finally comes out of my mouth will be gibberish. Sigh!
#7 The Resignation
After a few exasperating hours of exchanging awkward glances with strangers, I curl up in a corner at last. Failing at not having attempted half decent conversation with anyone, I end up watching the same people on social media.