I met my boyfriend, K, about 2 years ago around September of 2017. We met through his now-ex, and we've been together off and on ever since. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why he liked me. I had boring physical attributes, a weird personality, and a unique perspective that other people shouldn't be attracted to. But, here he was, kissing me and making me feel like everything would be okay. The reason why this meant so much to me was that my biological father molested me in 2016 and that evidently led me down a dark path of dangerous online activities, self-destructive behavior, low self-esteem, and eventually Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD, and General Anxiety. I had a psychological evaluation after I was placed in foster care and removed from the home, and the paperwork described me as having a Borderline Personality Disorder, being manipulative, and somewhat hallucinatory. Naturally, this had a negative effect on me and I took a turn for the worse, with self-harm and pushing people away to protect myself.
Throughout this whole ordeal, my boyfriend (K) was there. From the time I reported the incident to the time I was sent to Detroit and rejected by everyone. From the time my parents signed away their parental rights, right up to the point where he told me he was going to marry me someday. Then I understood: He loved me because I went through Hell and back, and I came out stronger and a better person than I was before.
Love goes through phases, just as the moon has its phases.
December, 2018
