When you choose your partner, it's important that they get along with your relatives. After all, if they're planning to join the family, they can't be a hater of it, can they? But that's only theoretical.
In reality, for one reason or another, sometimes people tend to not like the members of their partner's family. Occasionally, there are proper reasons for that. But like in the story we're talking about today, at times the dislike stems from some unclear internal insecurities.
More info: Reddit
While it's lovely when your partner gets along with your family members, it's not a guaranteed thing
Image credits: J carter (not the actual photo)
A man has a sister who he is very close with despite the big age gap between them
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
He also has a girlfriend he's been together with for over a year, and they have met each other's families
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
One dinner, the sister was telling them about a guy she got the ick from, which caused the girlfriend to say that her standards were too high and that it wouldn't have happened to her
Image credits: u/Nonfrench_Fries3621
This angered the man, as he understood this to mean that his girlfriend thought his sister didn't deserve basic respect, so he told her that this gave him the ick
The OP and his girlfriend Jenny are in such a serious relationship that they have already met each other’s families. While she is an only child, the author has a sister Anna, who he is close with despite their age gap.
Well, warm relationships between siblings with big age gaps are that rare. On HuffPost, there was an article showcasing how different, but at the same time compatible, age-gap sibling relationships can be. For instance, people who have such big gaps like 14 or even 20 years are still quite close. Some never even lived together, but still get along very well. So, it's always possible to have a great relationship, as long as you're willing to work for it.
Contrary to the good relationship between the OP and his sister, it seems like the relationship between his girlfriend and the same sister is a bit more strained. In the last couple of months, the author noticed that Jenny kept joking about how Anna was spoiled by her brother and parents. In fact, she said that they had “created a princess.”
One day, these implications went too far. It happened during a family dinner. From the start, the author felt that his girlfriend was overly grilling his sister about stuff related to her life, school, and dating.
Then Anna started telling a story about how she got the ick for a guy she went on a date with. The term “the ick” was first used on the TV show “Ally McBeal,” which aired from 1997 to 2002. Basically, it is when a person gets a sudden feeling of cringe or disgust toward someone they previously have been attracted to. Bored Panda's interviewee, international relationship coach Teresha Young, said that experiencing the ick is quite common.
Interestingly, one of the reasons why people experience this is due to evolutionary factors. Our bodies have a subconscious “leftover evolutionary desire” for potential mates to display certain characteristics. And so, when they do something that indicates a characteristic we don’t like, we get the ick.
Teresha said that the ick can manifest differently, depending on how long people are together. For instance, at the beginning, it might be triggered by seemingly minor issues, while later on it develops more gradually.
Image credits: Diva Plavalaguna (not the actual photo)
At the same time, she noted that in her opinion, pop culture and social media have amplified the phenomenon, which makes people more prone to it. "This environment creates a space for 'comparisons,' where individuals constantly compare their own relationships to the idealized versions they see online, often driven by a desire to measure up to perceived standards of success and happiness."
The thing that brought the ick for the OP’s sister was that her date didn’t even consider paying for his half of their meals and left the full price for her. Quite a jerk-ish move, isn’t it? At the same time, as our interviewee pointed out, it might seem minor to others. For example, Jenny.
Seemingly, she thought that this was proof that Anna was a spoiled princess, just like she kept implying. Jenny told her that she should lower her standards, as not every man would treat her as well as her brother did. This infuriated the OP, as it seemed to him that his girlfriend implied that his sister didn’t deserve to be treated with basic respect.
Then she went on about how this wouldn’t happen to her because men see her as high value. Apparently, a high-value woman is someone who knows her worth and refuses to settle for less than that.
Jenny describing herself that way and mistreating her boyfriend’s sister gave him the ick. And he didn’t hide it; he just told her without any hesitation. This caused a massive couple’s argument. The woman thought the boyfriend overreacted. He didn’t think so, but just to make sure, he came to Reddit to ask what others thought.
Well, internet folks assured the OP that he wasn’t in the wrong here. A few mentioned that they also got the ick for their girlfriend when she described herself as a high-value woman. Also, some thought that Jenny was trying to compete with her boyfriend’s sister, which is a serious red flag. In fact, there were suggestions that the man should break up with her before it’s too late.
Well, at this point, there are no updates on whether the couple has made up or not. Yet, it’s very clear that Jenny has some issues with Anne. What this fight did was bring it up, so now maybe they’ll be able to solve it before committing to each other seriously. You all know the saying – communication is key in relationships.
And if this fight is the beginning of their end, it’s sad, but at the same time, maybe in the long run it’s for the best. After all, maybe spending your life with someone who doesn't like your beloved sibling isn't such a great idea.
They got into a fight, so he came to Reddit to ask if he was wrong, and people assured him he was not
