The first rule for avoiding conflicts is to never call a person's pet ‘stupid’ or assume that they are not as important as any other family members. Pets are family. Every owner also has rules for how they want their animals to be treated - if they allow them to go out without a leash, if they want strangers to pet them or if they let their dogs be fed from the table during dinner.
One Reddit user shared his story online after his mother-in-law ignored his instructions to not let his dog outside without a leash. The dog ran away, got seriously injured, the in-laws didn’t even apologize, didn’t help search and the whole situation ended in them simply getting kicked out of the man's home.
More info: Reddit
Saying that ‘stupid dog’ doesn’t matter to its owner is not the best way to make a healthy relationship
Image credits: Zen Chung (not the actual photo)
Man agreed to host his fiancee's parents for Thanksgiving despite not being the biggest fan of them
Image credits: Tobi (not the actual photo)
Everything was going well, until his future MIL told him that she was going to let his dog out, to which he replied not to do that as she needed to be on a leash
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Obviously, the instructions were ignored, the dog ran away and while the man and his fiancee were looking everywhere, his future in-laws were sitting at home
Image credits: u/WarmPea2596
The next morning, after the dog was found, his future father-in-law told him to ‘be a man’ rather than worrying about her; in response to that, he just kicked them out of his house
Recently, a Reddit user shared his story online asking folks if he was being a jerk for kicking his future in-laws out of his house during Thanksgiving after they lost his dog, who was injured and almost killed. The post received a lot of attention and collected almost 8K upvotes and 1.9K comments.
He starts his story by explaining that he agreed to host his future in-laws at his house for Thanksgiving, despite not liking them. He adds that he also has a dog named Lucy. His fiancee’s parents arrived and everything was going fine until her sister also arrived and MIL said she was going to let Lucy out to meet her.
OP informed her not to do that, as the dog needed to be on a leash and handled by him. Well, 2 minutes later, OP’s fiancee came screaming that Lucy had run away. The man and his fiancee immediately went out to search for her everywhere, while his in-laws and the sister were sitting at home doing nothing. The next morning, he received a call that his dog had been found.
When the man came to pick her up, he noted that Lucy had bites and was bleeding. OP, exhausted, came back home and locked himself in his room with his dog. However, his father-in-law came and told him to be a man, as the dog was back and it was just a stupid dog anyway. Well, as you can imagine, that was enough for OP and he told them to just leave immediately.
The community members gave the author the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and declared that it was animal cruelty at that point. “When you bring an animal into your life, it becomes family. Saying that it's just a stupid whatever is immediate grounds for being kicked out of our house,” one user wrote. “Please rethink marrying into this family. They don't seem to have any redeeming qualities and Meg has just shown you that she is no different,” another added.
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
It’s quite common that people don’t like their in-laws for various reasons and it can actually be challenging. “The key is to think about why we might not like them and recognize if we are being judgmental and imposing our preferences or having unrealistic expectations given who they are,” Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT, who is a personal development and relationship expert, as well as the founder and director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, told Bored Panda.
Now, speaking about hurtful and frustrating situations like the one in the story, Emma notes that it’s helpful for the partners to share their feelings. “And then, for them to show each other how they understand the other's experience. This validation diffuses the situation and helps the partners create a strong partnership.”
Finally, I think most of us can agree that it’s difficult to apologize when we don’t agree that we did something wrong. Emma emphasizes that demanding an apology in this case doesn't make sense and just creates more animosity.
“A better request is to ask if the other party understands why one is hurt, upset, disappointed and such. They don't have to agree on how they see the situation, but they can agree that feelings were hurt and they can apologize for hurting the feelings though it wasn't their intention to do so.”
Thus this way, both parties are honored in their experience and this is much more conducive to resolving conflict, repairing and creating a successful relationship.
Image credits: Daniel Frank (not the actual photo)
Let’s come back a little bit to this phrase that OP heard from his future in-law, that "it’s just a stupid dog". Well, Time states that according to a study, people who take care of sick dogs experience higher levels of sadness, worry, and carer distress—symptoms that are comparable to what people experience when taking care of sick family members.
Furthermore, as stated by Huffpost, those who had sick animals also claimed to have worse moods and health in addition to feeling less satisfied in their relationships and at work. Thus, it not only shows that pets are family members but also highlights the importance of support to the owner when their pet is injured or sick, which was the opposite of what OP’s father-in-law did.
OP also noted that his future in-laws didn’t even apologize to him, which may seem like no big deal to most folks, but it actually is. Very Well Mind shares that the negative impacts of disagreement and relationship stress can be considerably lessened by mastering the art of effective apology. Sorry makes it easier for us to move on and put the argument behind us.
So while some people may never understand why pet owners care ‘so much’ about their fluffy family members, don’t test the line or you may be kicked out. And what do you think about this story? Did the author do the right thing or was he being too harsh? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors backed up the author and told him to rethink the whole relationship
