Life as an introvert comes with its own unique set of struggles. Throw in an extroverted partner who doesn't understand your personality, and things are bound to get complicated.
One woman says she did her best trying to balance her relationship with her outgoing boyfriend. Things reached boiling point when she reluctantly tagged along to celebrate his birthday with a bunch of friends. The guy not only ignored her while he bar hopped with his buddies, but also expected her to sit in a nearby restaurant and babysit his friend's underage girlfriend.
She's an introvert who suffers from anxiety, is on medication and struggles in some social situations
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Despite knowing this, her BF dragged her out, then ignored her for hours while he bar-hopped with friends
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"You might be right": She engaged with those who shared their advice
Some felt that she should end the relationship
The woman revealed that things escalated after she'd met with her boyfriend
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"I've caved": She gave quite a bit more info while engaging with netizens
Many felt the guy was immature and that she'd done the right things
"Bonus daughter": She surprised people with an unexpected update many years later
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"Pay attention to their reaction": advice from an introvert who married an extrovert
Jenn Granneman is the founder of IntrovertDear.com, a website and online community that aims to empower introverts and highly sensitive people to embrace their strengths — "and to start seeing their nature as a good thing." She's also the author of The Secret Lives of Introverts and Sensitive.
Granneman founded the site while living with an extroverted roommate, dating an extroverted man, and working an extroverted job as a teacher. "I realized how difficult it was to navigate a world that favors extroversion," she says. Today, she's married (to the extrovert) and shares how she navigated some of the obstacles she encountered while dating as an introvert.
Granneman says that introverts shouldn't feel obliged to say "yes" to every social invitation from their partner. Staying home alone sometimes is not only a great way to protect your energy, set boundaries, and let the extrovert get to know how you function. It's also also a great way to take note of how they respond to boundaries.
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"Let them meet you where you are," writes Granneman, adding that you should pay attention to their reaction when you explain that you just need a night to decompress after a long day at work. "If they’re a keeper, they’ll get it."
The introverted expert says her own relationship involved a lot of "push-and-pull" before she and her partner could find middle ground. But she continued to invite him to slow down with her. "While he invited me to concerts and parties, I invited him to picnics in the park and morning coffee dates at my favorite coffee shop," writes Granneman.
She stresses that communication is key, and it's important to check in with each other about whether or not things feel balanced.
"At the end of the day, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to make it work," Granneman. "Everyone is different — and that’s okay. Only you know what genuinely makes you happy and allows you to feel fulfilled as a person. Let that be your guide."
Many felt she dodged a bullet and some shared their own stories about dating as an introvert
