They say you can never have too much of a good thing because of the undesirable outcomes that typically follow. That may apply to many aspects of life, whether it's enjoying top-notch sushi, maintaining proper water intake, or engaging in regular exercise.
Showing kindness to others is also part of that list. Give a little too much of your time and resources, and you may find yourself getting taken advantage of by the very people you tried to help out. In some cases, it includes people you’re related to.
A woman learned this lesson the hard way after her sister repeatedly forced her into watching her kids. Fed up with the entitlement, she sent an invoice for a babysitting fee. And as you might expect, it erupted in a full-blown drama that involved the entire family.
Being too kind has its definite drawbacks
Image credits: gpointstudio / Envato (not the actual photo)
A woman had been too accommodating toward her sister, who would drop off her kids unannounced for an impromptu babysiting favor
Image credits: 2designbcn / Envato (not the actual photo)
She decided to charge an inconvenience fee, which casued a major rift within the entire family
Image credits: paintedfinch
People who are too agreeable may be susceptible to narcissistic family manipulation
As children, we were all taught to be kind to others. It often manifests in an agreeable personality, which, according to psychology professor Dr. Ronald Riggio, makes people more susceptible to being exploited. As he noted in an article for Psychology Today, empathy, in this case, may be detrimental.
“The desire to get along with others can lead to being taken advantage of by unscrupulous, high-pressure salespersons or even potential romantic partners,” Dr. Riggio wrote.
In the author’s case, she became a target of narcissistic family manipulation. According to Certified Gottman Therapist David Lechnyr, LCSW, one way it happens is when a relative questions a person's loyalty.
In an article for his website, Lechnyr explained that these toxic family members may redefine loyalty as compliance, and any resistance is perceived as a form of “betrayal.”
“When your family member accuses you of betraying the family for setting healthy boundaries, it can shake you to your core,” Lenchyr writes, stating that some may even resort to emotional blackmail.
In such cases, the advice from most experts will typically focus on setting boundaries. It may be a tall ask for some people, but ultimately, it’s about learning when to say no.
According to Taylor Counseling Group, difficult family members will likely be caught off guard upon hearing the first no, but it is an excellent and effective start.
The author may have added an extra sting with the invoice, but it was her way of sending a strong message that she was no longer tolerating her sister’s entitled behavior. In this situation, such actions were indeed called for.
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