What would you do if your roommate told you that you couldn’t use the oven in the apartment you both pay for? Imagine moving in with someone and everything is going great until—BAM—your Jewish roommate tells you the oven is off-limits. Yep, the oven that came with the apartment. Now you’re left feeling like you’re walking on eggshells in your own home.
That’s exactly what our storyteller, we’ll just call him Alex, went through when his Jewish roommate decided to impose some pretty strict ground rules regarding the usage of appliances in their shared apartment.
More info: Reddit
Man banned by his Jewish roommate from using the oven and fridge in the apartment they share, as his food is not kosher
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
After moving in with the Jewish roommate, man finds out that he is only allowed to have kosher food in the apartment they both pay for
Image credits: WonkWolf
The poster is willing to make some adjustments to respect his new roommate's religion, but being banned from the oven and fridge entirely is a bridge too far
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: WonkWolf
The man is not willing to change his lifestyle completely to accommodate the religious roommate and suggests they go talk to a rabbi together
Image credits: Andrew Valdivia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: WonkWolf
Since moving into a new place, Alex has found himself in quite a pickle. His Jewish roommate laid out a few kitchen rules that are a bit too challenging. He told Alex that the oven and even the fridge are off-limits for anything non-kosher. For those not in the know, kosher food preparation involves specific dietary laws, and some Jewish people are very strict about it. From separating utensils when cooking and serving dairy products to preparing the meat in a very specific way, there are quite a few rules that Jewish people should follow when it comes to eating kosher.
Although Alex isn’t Jewish, he wants to be respectful of his roommate’s beliefs. However, he feels that it is unfair to be banned from using the oven in the apartment they are both paying for, especially as he was not made aware of these “rules” before moving in. Imagine being told you can't cook your favorite lasagna or bake cookies because they’re not kosher. That’s exactly what Alex is dealing with.
Sharing an apartment and respecting each other’s space is one thing, but asking someone to completely change their lifestyle for someone else’s religious practices? That’s a whole new level. Alex was cool with using different plates and utensils, but being told he couldn’t use the oven or the fridge was a step too far.
Upset, Alex is at his wit’s end. When you’re paying half the rent, you expect to have access to all the amenities, right? Imagine moving into a place thinking you’ll be able to whip up your favorite meals, only to find out you can’t because of someone else’s rules.
Image credits: JOSBRA design (not the actual photo)
So, what’s a guy to do? Cook some bacon as revenge or find a more peaceful solution? Alex decided to take the high road. He suggested to his roommate that they talk to a rabbi to find the best compromise for both of them. He was not trying to be antisemitic or disrespectful in any way, he just wanted to use the kitchen in his house, without feeling like he was breaking some sacred law. After all, everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own home.
Pretty smart move, right? According to an article on how to resolve conflicts with a roommate, “regardless of whether you are living with a good friend or someone you met on move-in day, there is likely going to be a time or two where you have an issue with what your roommate is saying or doing. The key to a successful relationship is not based on whether or not you have a conflict, but rather how you respond to it.”
Resolving these issues starts with analyzing the conflict with a calm attitude, as the wrong kind of response or reaction could easily escalate the issues. Working together and focusing on the future would be the next steps in mending the dispute. “Make a commitment to work together and listen to each other to solve the conflict,” the article states. Which is exactly what Alex did when he suggested to his roommate they go and talk to a rabbi together to try and figure things out. However, after all of Alex’s efforts, the roommate was not having any of it.
Sharing a home with someone is all about respect and communication with a sprinkle of compromise on top. Conflict is inevitable, especially when you’re sharing a small space with someone, but it can be prevented. Setting clear expectations and stating your boundaries right from the start is the best way to try to prevent a conflict, like the one Alex and his roommate had. In their case, it sounds like there was a lack of upfront honesty coming from the roommate about what living with strict kosher rules would mean. What he called small changes were actually pretty major, so Alex felt misled.
What did you think of Alex’s story? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
People online side with the man, saying that the oven is common property and he should be able to use it
