Humans are probably one of the most adaptable creatures on this planet. We have learned to survive in extreme temperatures and against the most severe diseases. We can overcome life's adversities and make the world around us much more comfortable to live in. Perhaps the only thing we still cannot do is recognize emotional abusers around us in time.
For example, it took the user u/Soft-Square-8929, the author of today's story, 9 years to make the final and irrevocable decision to break up with the man who had bullied her in every possible way throughout their life together. And perhaps the only thing that worries her now is how ethical it is to kick him out right on Christmas Eve.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post had been living with her boyfriend for 9 years and they have kids together, but recently the woman decided to break up with him
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The main problem was the guy being abusive and mean towards her, manipulating her feelings and threatening her
Image credits: Soft-Square-8929
Image credits: pixelstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Meanwhile, the man didn't contribute to the household, keeping all his salary for his own needs
Image credits: Soft-Square-8929
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman made several attempts to part ways with this man, but always gave up due to his manipulations
Image credits: Soft-Square-8929
So now the main author's concern is not about the breakup per se but about its timing, as it turns out to be before Christmas Eve
The story we are going to tell you today happened shortly before Christmas and, unlike other holiday tales, not everything is so joyful here. In fact, the Original Poster (OP) had been living with her longtime partner for 9 years, and they have kids together, but, as it turns out, their life was not easy at all.
In fact, according to the author, her boyfriend was always abusive, both mentally and physically, constantly devaluing everything she did and criticizing her for the slightest actions that he didn't like. He classified her postpartum depression as a mental disorder and threatened to "tell people" that she was mentally unstable.
Moreover, the man even allowed himself violence when the OP was sleeping, due to the medication she was on. At least the author says that her partner confessed to this in an email form, and she plans to report this to the police soon.
And, on top of all this, the guy never contributed a single cent to their household, always keeping his salary for himself. All this time, they lived in a house owned by our heroine, and the dude also drove her car. And every time she tried to break up with him, he skillfully played the victim, manipulating her feelings.
The only surprising thing is that the original poster's patience lasted for nine years, but now she has firmly decided to cut all ties with this guy. And perhaps the only thing that worries her in this situation is that she is essentially kicking him out of the house right on Christmas Eve. And the woman decided to ask people online for some advice. Mostly about the proper timing.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Based on the story of this woman, it seems that her partner is literally strewn with red flags, like a Christmas tree with toys and lights," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "Considering all that has been said, it's absolutely not surprising that she eventually decided to completely break off the relationship."
"Moreover, I would not be surprised if this woman's now-ex ends up not just with a breakup, but also with a lawsuit. Because much of what she said is a criminal case, and playing the victim in front of a jury will no longer work."
"As for the fact that this woman couldn't take this step for so long - well, many emotional manipulators are so skillful at pressing our buttons that we nearly end up blaming ourselves for 'causing their displeasure.' In any case, I'm glad that this woman took a decisive step towards liberating herself from a toxic relationship. And may Christmas Eve be a renewal in her life," Irina summarizes.
People in the comments also completely agreed with our heroine's decision, wondering why she even endured it for so long. "You should have kicked him out a lot sooner. Enjoy your Christmas in peace!" one of the commenters wrote absolutely reasonably. "Just think about how much easier your life will be without this deadweight holding you back," another person added.
Some responders also agree that the manipulations of such abusers often force partners to endure such relationships for a very long time, and sometimes even for a lifetime. "The interesting thing is that you never have in the past because he weaves a story each time and you suffer as the bad guy," someone presumed wisely.
In any case, people are sure that this woman is doing the right thing. And what do you, our dear readers, also think about this story?
People in the comments massively sided with the author, praising her for finally making this decisive step in her life
