Birthdays are that one day a year when a person gets to feel special and the focus is all on them—or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Unfortunately, sometimes those around them manage to ruin the uniqueness of the occasion.
In the OP's case, it was the family's kids. The little ones always get a chance to blow everyone's candles before the birthday person, and if they don't, chaos ensues. What makes everything worse is that even if they do get to do that, chaos still happens. So, no wonder why celebrating a birthday with family doesn't seem like the most joyous occasion for the post's author.
More info: Reddit
While theoretically, a birthday party should be about the person whose birthday it is, sometimes other people ruin it
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
A couple has a few nieces and nephews who always blow out everyone's birthday candles
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
If they don't get a chance to do so, they start screaming and crying, which is very unenjoyable for everyone
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This nasty habit is making both family and friends slowly turn away from them
Image credits: Veteran_Writer_12
For instance, the couple is planning never to celebrate birthdays with family, as long as this toxic habit won't be nipped in the bud
As you know, most people have a tradition that the birthday person gets to blow out candles on their cake. This tradition has roots in Greek and German customs, where it was believed that it signifies the light of life, and blowing it out sends wishes to the gods.
Even today, some people believe that blowing out candles might make wishes come true. At the same, others do that simply because it is a relatively fun way to make the birthday guy or girl feel special.
That's unless they're in the OP’s family. In his family, the 5-6-year-old nieces and nephews always get to do it before the birthday person. At first, while they were very little, it was cute and fun, but with time, their attitudes became worse. Now, if they aren’t allowed to do it, the obnoxious session of crying and screaming follows.
So, grown-ups give in, just so the crying would stop and, in the process,s make the kids know that the temper tantrums work to get them what they want.
Yet, even when they are allowed to, there is no guarantee that there won’t be chaos. For instance, last month, during the original poster’s birthday, the kids were allowed to go first again. Then, the boy decided to blow the candles before the other kids could, which led to the girls crying uncontrollably.
The candles were lit again, and the crying ones got a chance to blow them out, too, but then the boy started sobbing because he couldn’t do it again. You see the never-ending cycle of crying mayhem. So, it took quite some time before the birthday person got a chance to blow out their candles, all because of the entitled kids.
Image credits: Lorene Farrugia / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So, it's no surprise that after this chaotic celebration, the original poster, whose birthday it was, expressed that this tradition of letting kids blow out the candles wasn’t the healthiest one. It basically reinforces the fact in kids’ minds that the whole world revolves around them and their wishes.
In life, kids have to learn to grow beyond the “self-only” view and realize they are living in a world with other people who have wants and needs that are no less important than theirs. But if people keep making the kids the center of attention even when they shouldn’t be, as in this situation, this phase of growing up becomes harder than it should be.
Plus, the reinforcement of this toxic behavior scares away family members. Here, the OP and his wife decided to no longer throw birthdays with the family because of how unpleasant the situation is.
What the original poster also suspects is that this entitlement of children is also the reason why they might not be getting invited to other children’s parties. So, it’s alienating not only to family members but possibly friends to kids too. Overall, not a good situation.
Netizens agreed with the sentiment. They pointed out that their age is appropriate enough to nip this kind of behavior in the bud. Yes, that might result in tears, but they have to learn this life lesson one way or another. In the long run, it will be beneficial both for them and the people around them.
Do you think these kids should be allowed to blow out everyone else’s candles? Share your take with us in the comments!
People online agreed that such behavior is unhealthy and pointed out that at some point in their lives, kids have to learn a lesson that not everything is about them
