Some people have big expectations for their children and want them to meet every one of the goals they’ve set. Although that does seem unreasonable, there are a few parents who just want their kids to turn out right. Even though the bar is so low, it doesn’t always get met.
This is the situation a single mom found herself in after struggling for many years. She explained how she has tried her best for her kids and how ungrateful they are. Whether it’s a parenting issue or something out of her control is up to you to decide.
More info: Mumsnet
There is no guarantee what kind of kid you’ll get, so as a parent, you’ve got to do your best and hope for the best
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The mom shared that her kids, who are in their 20s, live at home, and she raised them as a single parent while working part-time
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She explained that she always tried to do her best by them without being too strict or too lenient, but once the lockdown happened, their relationship changed for the worse
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The heartbroken poster said that she feels like a servant to her kids and that they are disrespectful, messy, and never give her the time of day
Image credits: Pepsimaz
The woman feels like she's at her wit's end and wants to get her kids out of the house, but since they have refused to leave, she has thought of maybe moving out herself
Based on the woman’s story, it really seems like she tried to do everything right by her children. She worked hard and paid attention to their needs. Things started changing after the lockdown when her kids started being rude toward her and trashing her house. Since then she has felt like, no matter how much she tries, things always seem to be awful because of them.
Usually, parents feel guilty about resenting their kids or having any negative thoughts toward them. In situations like this, it’s also hard for someone to know how to deal with such feelings. To get more insight and figure out this complex topic, Bored Panda reached out to Fiona Ng. She is a dedicated somatic parenting coach, helping parents navigate their journeys with empathy and insight.
Fiona focuses on conscious parenting and empowers families to build deeper connections and foster emotional growth. That’s why she said that “expressing feelings is essential, and one of my favorite tools to share with parents is journaling. It provides a safe space for them to express frustrations without judgment.”
“Writing down their thoughts can offer clarity and help parents process their emotions, preventing them from offloading these feelings onto their children. Many parents grew up in a generation where children were to be seen and not heard, and they may not have had positive outlets for expressing their own emotions.
One of the most important things the mom mentioned is that she doesn’t even have “high standards,” yet she still feels like her kids are falling short of her expectations. They treat her like a servant and have accused her of being selfish whenever she tried to express her feelings.
Fiona explained that “parenting is a complex emotional journey, and it’s entirely normal for parents to experience feelings of disappointment or dissatisfaction regarding their children’s behavior. Society tends to romanticize the image of the perfect family, where children are polite, tidy, and appreciative. For single parents, the weight of these expectations can be especially heavy.”
“It is important for parents to acknowledge their feelings of disappointment without guilt. Many parents put their children first, and single parents, in particular, can feel emotionally unsupported, which can bring on feelings of resentment toward children,” she explained.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The fed-up poster asked netizens whether she should just kick her kids out or move to another place instead. She even wondered if she was to blame for the way they turned out, which is an extremely complicated question. Although there’s no exact person to blame for a situation like this, it is possible to repair a fractured parent-child relationship.
Fiona advised that one can “heal relationships with children by creating shared experiences. Parents can get stuck in a rut of telling children what to do, nagging at them, and having feelings of frustration towards them. Engaging in activities together can strengthen the parent/child bond and can heal ruptures in the relationship.”
Another important thing to do is “consider talking to a therapist. Many parents suffer in silence, fearing judgment for expressing their feelings about their children. A good therapist provides a non-judgmental, safe space where parents can openly discuss their emotions. A therapist can offer strategies for coping and help parents understand their emotions in a healthier way,” Fiona added.
It’s difficult to know exactly how kids will turn out. Although a person’s parenting style can make a difference in the way a child develops, there are so many factors at play that it’s hard to put the blame on anyone. The heartbroken poster’s reality truly didn’t meet her expectations, but hopefully sharing her story helped her get those heavy feelings out.
What advice would you give the woman, and do you think it’s okay for parents to be disappointed in how their kids have turned out? We’d love to hear your opinions in the comments.
Netizens mostly sided with the mom and told her that she needs to show her children some tough love or just tell them when to move out and actually make it happen
