21 Parents Lay Bare The Culture Shocks And Lessons Of Raising Their Kids Overseas

With globalization, international assignments, and cross-border opportunities becoming commonplace, the number of parents choosing to raise their children in foreign countries is on the rise. 

These children are Third Culture Kids (TCKs), a term first coined by sociologists John and Ruth Useem in the 1950s to describe children who grow up in a culture different from both their parents' culture and the culture of their passport country.

Some advantages of being a TCK include a global mindset (thanks to exposure to various cultural practices and viewpoints), adaptability (frequent relocations teach them to make friends quickly and navigate unfamiliar situations), and cultural fluency (they can move seamlessly between cultural contexts in ways that might be challenging for monocultural people).

Being a TCK also comes with its challenges, though. One of these is identity confusion—with no clear answer to the question, “Where are you from?” a TCK may feel torn between several cultural identities and lack a sense of belonging. Other challenges facing TCKs include a sense of rootlessness, reverse culture shock when they return to their passport country, and hidden grief from frequent goodbyes and loss of places.

While the TCK experience is complex, there are strategies that can help these children thrive. Some of these include embracing their identity by acknowledging that it’s a blend of multiple cultures, staying connected with friends and families across borders, and using their unique traits as global citizens as assets increasingly valued in an interconnected world.

Many TCKs become "Adult Third Culture Kids" (ATCKs), continuing to make sense of the complexities of identity and belonging, but their global perspective can lead to careers in diplomacy or other fields that require cross-cultural skills. Research indicates that TCKs often do well in professions that place an emphasis on adaptability, creativity, and communication. 

In her article for the BBC, Kate Mayberry writes that notable TCKs include US President Barack Obama (who was born to a Kenyan father and American mother, and moved to Jakarta after his mother married an Indonesian) and British actor Colin Firth, who lived in Nigeria, where his father worked in education, as well as in the US.

American sociologists Ruth Van Reken and David Pollock published Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, in 1999. Although Pollock has since passed away, Van Reken continues to lecture and research, saying that TCKs are more likely to speak more than one language, have a broader world view, and be more culturally aware.

Third Culture Kids embody the beauty and complexities of a globalized planet, and their unique experiences can offer valuable lessons and insights about cultural appreciation, adaptability, and the critical importance of community and connection. Just don’t ask them where they’re from.

Do you have experience as a parent of a TCK or as a TCK yourself? Which of the stories in this list are the most relatable to you? Don’t forget to upvote and comment on your favorites!

Third Culture Kids embody the beauty and complexities of a globalized planet, and their unique experiences can offer valuable lessons and insights about cultural appreciation, adaptability, and the critical importance of community and connection. Just don’t ask them where they’re from.

Do you have experience as a parent of a TCK or as a TCK yourself? Which of the stories in this list are the most relatable to you? Don’t forget to upvote and comment on your favorites!