30 People Who Swore To Never Be Like Their Parents Share How It Turned Out

My husband & I swore we wouldn’t repeat our parents ‘ mistakes, and so far we haven’t. We made completely new ones.

My mom often told me that she didn’t want to be like Grandma and she turned out to be cruel, abusive, manipulative mom exactly like Grandma.

I also don’t want to be cruel, abusive, manipulative mom like my mom, so I don’t have kid. Better end this cycle of abuse with me.

I pay attention to my son, take an interest in him and what he says, and show that I love and care about him. So, it's working out pretty well compared to my childhood.

Growing up, I always swore that I’d never get married and I’d never have kids. Many people told me that I’d change my mind. I’ve never married or had kids and I’m happy as can be. I do what I want, when I want and it’s nice.

I apologise freely to my child when I get it wrong, we always have McDonald’s money, he has lots of lovely days out and he’s completely loved and adored. I hope he thinks I’m doing a good job.

Turns out, I'm my parents 2.0 - now with added features! I find myself using phrases I swore I'd never say, and I've developed a strange fascination with thermostats. Who knew that 'Don't touch the thermostat' would be my catchphrase?

Amazing,
I have a fantastic relationship with all my kids.
I've never used violence as a punishment, I've never belittled them or made them feel small.
Now I've got polite friendly children who are loved by all they meet.

It's not difficult to raise a child with love and kindness it's mad, the massive difference between my childhood and my kids.

I was hit by a car at 7 years old and yes it was my own fault but I wouldn't dream of leaving a 7 year old unattended, let alone letting them wander the streets until dark.

I chose not to have kids. That way I also avoided my mother’s “I hope someday your kids are as disrespectful as you are” curse.

I grew up with two narcissistic screamers. I am still tormented by my memories. I swore never to be like that. And I’m not. My daughter (10) and I never yell. We are close and respect one another. She is always complimented on her empathy by teachers and is at the top of her class. It works! Family curses can be reversed.

Well I never beat my daughter with her own hockey stick so pretty good.

It’s hard. Breaking generational trauma is difficult. But I’ve put in a lot of work and went to therapy. I think I’m doing pretty good at being a different kind of parent.

Pretty well actually. Both my kids know that I love them unconditionally and they seem to believe that they deserve love and are worthy of it.

It's given me empathy for my parents' failures because they are just people and I can see where the behaviors may have come from. Saying that, it doesn't mean I'm not still trying to do it better. My kids deserve the best of me. I'm also imperfect, but I'm trying to give them the best childhood I can. I think it's going well.

Well, let's just say my 'I'll never be like my parents' pledge has aged as well as a milk carton left out in the sun. Turns out, 'because I said so' is a legit reason, and 8 PM is indeed a fantastic bedtime. Who knew?

I ended up going TOO far in not wanting to be my parents who were emotionally neglectful, physically abusive and too strict, that I still kinda became my parents in a way. I never said no to my child, gave him few boundaries, always put his feelings and wants and interests first and did everything for him out of fear of him ending up with the same struggles in adulthood as I did, out of fear of him feeling what I felt. As a result, my son grew up developing a whole different set of issues, even though I thought I did everything right. Because you know: at least I wasnt my parents! I needed (and still need) lots of therapy to handle my own demons first. To educate myself on how the human mind works and and how generational trauma works. I had to relearn how to raise a child in a healthy, balanced way. It was extremely hard to admit to myself I was failing as a parent and ask for help/therapy but it is almost impossible to break a previous cycle of trauma without it.

Great! My kids are healthy, happy and needed significantly less therapy than I did. So I call that a win.

The woman who birthed me was a m*th addict. My bio dad was in and out of prison. I was the oldest of my siblings so I pretty much raised them and at 18 I did have custody of the two younger ones. Our child Hoodia hell when we were with our mom. I swore my kids would have it better My oldest was never obligated to take care of her siblings or forced to do my chores. I have never done meth or anything hard. I have never left my children in a car for hours to go gamble or do drugs in some creeps house. I've never even had so much as a speeding ticket. I've never pulled my child out of bed at 3 in the morning screaming and hitting them "cause they talked s**t" I've never hit my babies for anything. I've never called them bad words or insulted them. Never made them clean up my vomit or bathe me. I tell them how much they mean to me. I make sure I am present for them in everything. I've sat through every dance class and recitals, every boxing class, every choir concert, every home fashion show. I've been next to them every moment they were sick and done everything to help them feel better even when I'm sick too. I've stayed up late to make sure a last minute school project is complete. They are my children, I brought them into this world so it is my responsibility to help them grow up in a loving environment, to teach them, to instill kindness in them, to make them humans I will be proud to call friend when they grow into adults. I know I haven't been perfect but I know I've done a hell of a lot better than the two humans that made me.

I did a lot of things the exact opposite of my parents when I had my daughter. To this day, my mother asks me why she & I aren’t as close as my daughter & I. Well, let’s see…….maybe because I don’t harbor a grudge for everything my child does differently than I do. She goes her own way and is a fully-functioning adult, so…….I am proud of her rather than point out what she is doing “wrong”.

It worked out great! I stopped a cycle of many generations of abuse. My daughter grew up feeling safe, loved, wanted and supported by a mother who treasures her existence. ❤️

My mother wouldn’t get me braces for my horrible crooked teeth. My kid has braces now. My mother refused to let me get my license. My kid will have it the day he turns 16. Anytime I was excited about an accomplishment? There was someone she knows whose kid could do it better. I don’t downplay my kid’s excitement for anything.